Monthly Archives: July 2011

Bob Lutz’s Eight Laws of Business (Book Review of “Guts”)

Book Review: “Guts” by Bob Lutz

Robert A. Lutz, the outspoken cigar-smoking fighter pilot who helped turn Chrysler around before it merged with Daimler-Benz in 1998, sat down and wrote a book on business before his brief retirement.

As Daimler-Benz and Chrysler were merging, Lutz, an vocal opponent of the merger and an instrumental part of Chrysler’s 1990s overhaul, was squeezed out, perhaps perceived as a threat to Daimler management, or a “disruptive change agent” as he describes himself.

“Guts” goes into revealing detail explaining how Chrysler saved itself from bankruptcy by reorganizing its product development and detailing how the company designed, built, and engineered the Dodge Viper for only $80 million. The Viper program, it is revealed, was more than an exotic car project. It was a an experiment to test Chrysler’s new platform teams, groups of people with shared interest and fast communication, eliminating the delays, costs, and mediocrity caused by Chrysler’s bureaucratic structure.
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Before instituting more cohesive supplier relationships, Chrysler took the same approach as Wal-Mart in procurement, aggressively demanding price concessions of five percent each year, or else. Suppliers were pitted against each other in a highly competitive auction process that guaranteed the cheapest part, quality be damned.

Chrysler learned to sit down and seek input from suppliers, fostering a more symbiotic relationship. As a result, savings were realized and quality slowly improved. And much like Wal-Mart, Chrysler learned to share cost savings with suppliers, creating a financial incentive for both parties.

He reveals Ford’s nitpicking, micromanaging, creativity-stifling culture of the 1970s and 1980s. A Polaroid Camera worth $25, used by a service rep to send pictures of parts (rather than the whole part) for warranty replacement approval was stolen. To receive a new camera and get on with business, the executive was asked by a panel:

Why does the company provide cameras in the first place?
Who pays for the film?
How do we know the reps don’t use the cameras on weekends to photograph their family?
Do we have controls?
Do we count films?
Why not?
How many packs are allocated per week to each service rep?
Who checks?
Who keeps the books on films?

This barrage of stupid questions was in spite of the fact that the camera saved Ford hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars on freight costs. The executive who asked for a new camera said he would return in a few months with a report on how to monitor film usage. Ford rewarded sniveling, shit-eating, micromanaging behavior, and it resulted in forgettable and sometimes awful cars.

While reflecting on his youth, the Marine Corps, his time at UC Berkeley, and his time at BMW, Ford, GM, and Chrysler, Lutz shares his “Immutable Laws of Business,” listed below with brief summaries:

1. The customer isn’t always right.
Focus groups and surveys only reveal the present. They don’t create new paradigms or introduce new ideas. People in focus groups tend to be dishonest, presenting themselves as sensible when real purchases are often made on emotion and impulse, something that can’t be measured by Q&A sessions.

Lutz reveals how an excessive emphasis on marketing surveys caused the Shadow and Sundance to balloon in size, approaching Chrysler’s midsize offerings in dimensions but with much lower prices, adversely affecting profitability. The customer doesn’t see or understand the future — that’s what an auto manufacturer’s creativity and inventiveness are for.

Relying too heavily on the customer for input, says Lutz, is what transformed the Ford Thunderbird from a small, sporty two-door coupe into a characterless, two ton land barge.

Lutz discusses a part he encountered that was being produced for the upcoming 1995 Lincoln Continental. The Continental, apparently inspired by focus groups, attempted to please every customer by offering electronic settings to configure steering effort and suspension damping, supposedly to cater to both spirited and relaxed drivers. I’ve played with this system myself, and its completely pointless. It confused customers and made Lincoln look wishy washy and unsure of itself.

Instead of making a clear decision on how the car should drive, Lincoln farted out a watered down example of what was otherwise an excellent car. In later model years, these idiotic settings were removed.

Across town, GM’s Cadillac Seville STS was much more expensive, used cheaper interior materials, and was generally less reliable, but the Seville was sure of its character and mission and handily outsold the everything-to-everyone Lincoln. [I’ve owned three Cadillac Sevilles and zero Continentals… partly because of this.]

Girls hate it when guys let them make all the decisions. No one loves a wuss. No one likes unfocused products.

2. The primary purpose of business is not to make money.

In his own words:
“What I mean to suggest with this Law, however, is that companies that do make a lot of money almost never have as their goal “making a lot of money.” They tend to be run by enthusiasts who, in the normal course of gratifying their own tastes and curiosities, come up with products or services so startling, so compelling, and so exciting that customers practically rip their trouser pockets reaching for their wallets.”

For example, the purpose of Wal-Mart, when Sam Walton was running it, wasn’t entirely to make money. His motives were competition, action, and victory — profitability tagged along for the ride.

3. When everybody else is doing it, don’t!
Companies have a compulsion to follow fads. Executives read the pages of the Wall Street Journal and Forbes asking themselves, “Why aren’t we doing this?” The consultant selling the shiny new idea is hired at a hefty hourly rate to speak to the company and advise managers. Before soon, the same magazines and newspapers that had praised the latest, greatest fad are suddenly publishing critiques, asking how so many managers could fall for such a short-sighted plan.

Lutz also stresses the need for creativity and innovation. He depicts the soft drink market before Coca Cola on a pie chart. You have one third tea, one third coffee, and one third juice. As far as anyone knew, that was it, and new competitors simply made tea, coffee, or juice. Then along came Coca Cola, busting the pie open and adding a new soft drink category instead of following everyone else.
The same could be said of the large crossover segment, pioneered by Chrysler with the poorly executed but clever Pacifica. Now, American roads are filled with Buick Enclaves, GMC Acadias, and Honda Pilots.

4. Too much quality can ruin you.
Of course, too much of anything can ruin you, and the worship of quality can create tunnel vision. Rolls Royce “cleaned” the GM Hydramatic transmissions installed in its cars, resulting in incorrect fluid pressures and poor shift quality. Chrysler, for half a century, installed its lug nuts with reverse threads thinking that normal threads might spin off and cause the loss of a wheel. After decades of realizing this wasn’t the case, Chrysler switched to normal (righty-tighty/lefty-loosey) threads.

And, explains Lutz, there’s more to satisfaction than quality, which, based on surveys, is merely the absence of defects rather than the presence of greatness. “Given two extremes-‘zero defects with no delight’ and ‘delight with a few squeaks in it’-the public will always buy the latter.”

Of course, I might disagree with him and note that the Toyota Camry, a lifeless lump designed for sad sacks, is a top seller. On the other hand, the zippy, high-tech Ford Fusion is gaining momentum. Maybe there’s hope for American drivers.

5. Financial controls are bad!
“Tight controls do harm in two ways. First, they can jeopardize an organization’s ability to exploit big opportunities. While I was at Ford of Europe, for example, one of our products was getting murdered in the market because it lacked a then-high-tech cassette tape deck. It was a matter of our spending $40,000 (the cost of engineering and tooling for the tape deck) in order to protect an $8 million business. Finance balked!”

He explains that strict controls without a regard for growth, for creativity, and for common sense will doom an organization to mediocrity. He uses the $25 Polaroid camera at Ford as an example. There is a strong tendency for overly strict financial controls to only maintain the status quo.

6. Disruptive people are an asset.
Bob Lutz, of course, classifies himself as a disruptive person. He goes on to distinguish the difference between people who vocalize their concerns and push an organization to improvement… and people who are nuts.

“Sometimes the temptation to fire all disruptives can be keen. Resist it. Removing irritants feels good, but only in the same way that changing doctors feels good when your old one has been needling you to lose weight. Switch doctors however much you like, you’re still fat.”

7. Teamwork isn’t always good.
Citing Hollywood’s recycling of themes as an example:
”Me-too movies, like most other mediocre products that stumble gracelessly to market, are the fruit (mealy fruit, I might add) of too much teamwork. Teams prefer the safe, the familiar, the middle of the road, the well-researched. They fear originality.”

“In truth, most groups, left to their own devices, devote far more time and effort to the practice of teamsmanship (promoting group harmony, smoothing and protecting everybody’s ego) than they do to working.”

“The ability to compromise is, of course, a wonderful thing. And the promotion of team members’ self-esteem is, of course, a noble goal. But neither is an end in itself. We’re not running major corporations in order to perform social experiments. We are attempting to get work done. Remember work? It’s what’s required of us if we are to create the breakthrough products our shareholders expect and the public demands. And if that means, every so often, that we have to let some of the steam out of someone’s self-esteem, I say fine; so be it.”

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Part 3 of the book rambles on a bit, with Lutz sharing his views on education, politics, military service, and declining American culture. It starts to sound a bit like a BIll O’Reilly book, with personal experiences muddied by inconsistencies.

For example, he rails against the federal government for being too large, too controlling, and against free enterprise. With this, I agree, but he then suggests that the US should have compulsory military service, like Switzerland, to instill character into the citizenry, to counteract the “Fear Factor” generation. [If you recall, Fear Factor was a reality show on NBC back in the late 90s. People ate bugs and acted like desperate morons for a little bit of money.]

That sounds like a massive federally-funded social experiment.

You cannot criticize the government for stifling the rights of a free society while demanding that the same government send the unwilling to war. The Marine Corps, he says, did wonders to turn him around, to drag him out of his wandering youth and give him a sense of purpose.

Lutz, a product of wealth and privilege, assumes that the rest of us need military service to become decent people. What he neglects to acknowledge is that some of us already have our heads screwed on straight and don’t require millions of federal tax dollars in combat pilot training as an expensive form of therapy.

I congratulate him for his accomplishments and his strong moral character, but I take issue with being forced at gunpoint to give my productivity to a government that he acknowledges has little respect for my freedom.

[I hate getting into politics on this blog.]

He also talks about how we should complain more about bad service at restaurants.

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In most of “Guts”, Lutz praises Chrysler’s merger with Daimler Benz as a positive step in a new direction. Hindsight is 20/20, and its unfair to criticize him for being wrong about a merger that most people perceived as productive. And in fairness, he mentions in his new book “Car Guys vs Bean Counters” that he misjudged the success of the merger.

The epilogue was written just after Jurgen Shrempp was ousted from Daimler Benz but before the involvement of Cerberus, the US Treasury, and FIAT. He gives his version of how things went wrong, suggesting that a major part of the issue was that the Germans broke up Chrysler’s executive dream team. Lutz, Castaing, Pawley, and CEO Bob Eaton had retired or been replaced.
Bob Eaton, one of the original architects of the merger, has more or less gone into hiding. I would perhaps do the same if I were him.

“Daimler management failed to understand the change that had occurred. They assumed that even though the roster of senior talent had been shuffled, ‘Chrysler would still be Chrysler’ and that the company’s mastery of its business would continue as before.”

Perhaps, then, its possible to say that Chrysler’s culture was too dependent on a few charismatic leaders rather than a companywide, deeply instilled, fundamental cultural change. Its the dilemma facing Apple as CEO Steve Jobs undergoes treatment for pancreatic cancer. Can the ship keep moving without its talented captain?

Likewise, GM’s recent product turnaround happened under the guidance of Lutz who was fired after the US Treasury took ownership in 2009. Was Lutz able to instill long-term changes at GM, or will product development suffer as it did after he and others left Chrysler?

The Germans at Daimler, he says, tried to mask falling sales and rising costs by pushing leases, which adversely affected resale value and made subsequent leases too expensive:
“The lesson here is that a car company pulls the lease trigger too aggressively at its peril: You can look good today and pay dearly in two years, or you can admit up front that you have problems ‘making the numbers’ and cut production now. It’s really a simple matter of pay now or pay later.”

“Needing to buy time, they gambled that an incredibly buoyant used-car market two years down the road would soak up all those off-lease vehicles. It didn’t.”

He then explains that the Germans should have, at the risk of hurt feelings, pushed harder to integrate Chrysler into its corporate culture:

“In order to realize the promised savings and offset the inevitable operational slowdown during the assimilation process, it is imperative for the dominant partner in the merger to move rapidly to impose its structure, its metrics, and its executive appraisal systems-in short, its entire operating philosophy, plus that qualitative thing called culture. Somebody has to be the boss!”
His last comment on the merger is this:

“If it’s a merger, the weeding out must be done gradually: You need enough people to be able to conduct business during alterations. If it’s an acquisition, though, your only option is to move fast and let all heads role at once.”

He neglects to mention that Chrysler’s merger with Daimler-Benz was a fraud. It was, in reality, an acquisition, and the lies that sold the takeover to shareholders resulted in half-assed, slow-moving measures by German management concerned about looking predatory.

Everyone suffered as a result.

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Finally, at the end of his epilogue, Lutz adds one additional rule:

8. When you inherit a really big rat’s nest, don’t try to lure them out with food. Use a flamethrower.
“No matter how good the acquired (or merged) company, digesting a corporate body almost as big as one’s own presents peril, not just opportunity.”

Citing IBM’s Lou Gerstner as an example, Lutz says a newly acquired firm has to flush out dead weight in order to adopt new practices and philosophies. As an example of a poorly executed acqusition, he mentions Rover. Billions were poured into the company while BMW’s management took a hands-off approach. It got to a point where the Rover division, operating autonomously within BMW, dragged down the entire company and was sold for one dollar to Ford (Mini was retained).

————————————

Lutz concludes with the following:

“I don’t know how DaimlerChrysler’s story will unfold. There were, undeniably, some initial mistakes made in the mega-merger-as how could there not be in any undertaking so enormous? I do know, though, that when the last chapter is written, the controlling factor in the company’s success or failure won’t be that it took a few missteps. We all do that. It will be how well the executive team members toughed it out, how well they fought their way back to a true course, how well (if I may be permitted one last word) they showed guts.”

Well, we all know how that turned out. They got gutless and farted out half-hearted, half-assed, half-baked lumps like the ungainly 2007 Sebring, the pointless Jeep Compass, and the crude and disposable Dodge Caliber. The Dodge Viper, a modern American icon and the heart of Chrysler’s 90s revival, was discontinued (for a few years, but new owner Fiat says a new Viper is under development).

Instead of taking risks with bold designs and innovative products as it did before, the company rolled out compromised turds that looked like they were heavily influenced by focus groups, and the participants were apparently a bunch of aging lesbians with cataracts.

Once a beacon of hope for American manufacturing, Chrysler became a go-to example of everything wrong with Detroit. And once again, the company stood in line applying for federal assistance, this time alongside the once formidable giant General Motors.

I’m cautiously optimistic about Fiat’s involvement, however, and products like the new Dodge Durango, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Dodge Ram, Pentastar V6, and dramatically revised Chrysler 300 serve as evidence that the spirit of innovation is still alive at Chrysler.

More pictures of the 2012 Toyota Camry

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Like the current Japanese-market Camry, the nose and tail will be slightly different from what’s sold in America. Expect the interior to look as pictured but with the steering wheel on the other side, obviously.

It looks a bit shorter, so will it be lighter?

Who cares?

More: http://www.noticiasautomotivas.com.br/em-primeira-mao-fotos-do-novo-toyota-camry-2012/

The Cost of Nostalgia


Relationships end for a reason.

Maybe she started nagging and criticizing. Maybe she spent all of your money. Maybe you were lazy and unambitious. Maybe she cheated. Maybe you didn’t pay her enough attention. Or worst of all, maybe she forgot to flush and you saw what was in the toilet — the horror!

A few years after the breakup, you run into her. You wonder, “How did it ever end? It was so good!” You find yourself talking to her for hours as if you were never apart. You rationalize your idiocy by convincing yourself that the unstable, untrustworthy flake you despised for years was the one that got away.

And so it goes with automobiles.

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The first car I picked out for myself was a 1988 Mazda 929. The Nissan Sentra I was given as a parental hand-me-down had finally called it quits after being rear-ended three times. I took my insurance check to a shady dealer in a bad neighborhood and took my Mazda home.

It was rear-wheel drive with metallic brown paint, feather-light steering, automatic climate control, power leather seats, a sunroof, and motorized oscillating vents. Fancy stuff for an eighteen-year-old guy back then (2000).

Never mind the dented door, the cracked glass, or the yellow mustard that squirted out of the wiper washer nozzle (yes, this happened). Never mind the timing belt that broke and left me stranded outside of town. The radio worked when it wanted to and the leather upholstery was badly cracked and faded. Then one day, the oil pan rusted out and the car spewed enough smoke to cover five lanes of traffic. The engine seized and that was the end. I sold it for $50.

Being the irrational young man that I was, I went out and bought another.

I was 20 years old, making peanuts working at a hotel, and had to borrow a bit of cash from a friend to buy a white 1988 Mazda 929 that I found listed in a local circular. It ended up needing a set of tires, new upholstery, rear glass (I was dragged into a bit of a physical confrontation with some questionable characters), and darn near everything else. I spent so much money trying to keep my beloved heap together that I fell behind trying to pay back my friend, which I finally did several months later.

One day, it overheated on my way home from school and the head gasket blew. The head was machined and the gasket was repaired, but a cylinder was dead beyond revival.

I sold it to a dealership and handed them a mountain of records. I couldn’t believe it when I was offered $950 for it, about $950 more than I thought it was worth. As far as I know, that car sat on their lot for a year and probably ended up being traded for a roll of Mentos.

Despite the headache-inducing reliability issues, the 929 is still a car I remember very fondly, both of them. I’d probably buy a third if I found a decent one.

One evening in 2007 I was driving home from my office in Kirkwood, Missouri, perched behind the wheel of a shiny Range Rover — I had finally pulled myself out of the poverty of my early 20s. I chased down a man in a smoke-belching 929, waving and honking at him the entire time. He finally pulled over and put his window down, looking back at me with a scared-shitless expression. I put my window down, smiled, and said, “I love your car! I owned two of them!” and drove off.

He probably thought I was nuts. [I was.]

I romanticized my memory of the car and became convinced that total strangers shared my fanatical level of affection.

I went through the same experience with a 1992 Infiniti Q45 I owned from 2003-2005. I bought it through an ad on Autotrader and spent every waking moment polishing, cleaning, and detailing it. It needed timing chain guides, the air conditioning was broken, it left me stranded about three times within the first couple months, and it had a serious alignment problem. Still, to me, it was motoring nirvana.

I paid $3600 for it and proceeded to spend $7000 over the course of two years trying to keep it together, and that was mostly with labor I performed myself. I received free help and technical assistance from the good people at NICO Club, thankfully, otherwise I’d have easily spent over ten grand. [Huge thanks to Wes.]

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The infatuation was strong — I started Q45.org as an archive of the most important articles and posts from NICO and accumulated a mountain of Q45-related brochures, books, articles, and advertisements. I never did get the air conditioning to work for more than a few months at a time.

Finally, at 200,000 miles (35,000 miles later), I sold it for $900 to a guy from California. Last I heard, it was sold to someone else who then installed a body kit and a new transmission.

It didn’t end there.

A year later, in 2006, I got nostalgic and bought another Q45, this one from Los Angeles. I flew across the country and drove it home, discovering the remnants of Route 66 along the way.

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Somehow, It wasn’t the same. It was too perfect, too well maintained, and didn’t “need” me like my last one did. Aside from a few squeaky suspension bushings, the car was flawless. I was even free to invest my time and energy into upgrading the sound system and buying a set of wheels (not pictured). I played around with the exhaust too.

It did have an intermittent injector issue which I could have repaired for ten dollars and 45 minutes of my time, but I used it as an excuse to leave — after less than a year of blissful driving pleasure I sold it.

Why? Because I developed a love for misery. I longed for the stimulation of pain and suffering.

The relationships you remember most are the ones that excite you, the ones that make you crazy and cause you to do irrational things. But they’re never good for you.

And so it goes with automobiles.

NICO Review: 2002 Mercedes-Benz C230 Kompressor

Chris at NICO Club drove his sister’s recently purchased Mercedes C230. You may remember seeing these cars years ago, offering young [mostly female] up-and-comers an affordable way into a brand new Mercedes-Benz. Unfortunately, the $26,000 supercharged C230’s moment of glory was short-lived as the Infiniti G35 and Cadillac CTS arrived in late 2002 with starting prices just under $30,000, offering more space, more power, and more comfort for not much more money.

Because of heavy competition and America’s downmarket perception of hatchbacks, the W203 C-class coupe was discontinued for the US market in 2005.

Read the full review here.

Blurry Pictures of the 2012 Camry

A smudged lens is like beer goggles for boring cars.


Fast Tube by Casper

The Camry’s cheap, ill-fitting interior is in desperate need of improvement to compete against the Fusion, upcoming Malibu, and Sonata.

Source: http://www.gminsidenews.com/forums/f12/2012-toyota-camry-dealer-introduction-xle-se-hybrid-104144/index2.html

Review: 1964 Chevrolet Impala

“They don’t make them like they used to.”

That’s what the elderly often say when they stubbornly refuse to accept the efficiencies and improvements of the modern world. But for the Chevrolet Impala, its the truth.


Fast Tube by Casper

I embarked on a road trip from St Louis, Missouri to Spokane, Washington and because of snow reported in the inland northwest, I took a detour through Denver, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle.

Gary, who I’ve known for a few years through several Cadillac Owners meets, lived just south of Portland in Independence, Oregon, so we stopped in for a visit.

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This was my first time driving a real American classic. Before Gary’s Impala, the oldest car I had driven was a Toyota pickup from 1978. The 70s and early 80s were a dark period for most of the auto industry with chintzy build quality, thin steel, and hardly enough power to mow a lawn.

And this was, unfortunately, the era of automobiles I grew up in. While Gary adores the full size American car that shaped his childhood, I’m stuck with memories of a smoke-belching Datsun B210, an orange primer-patched Honda Accord CVCC, and a white Datsun pickup. The B210, after just a few years of service, was so badly corroded that water splashed into the passenger footwell as you drove over a puddle. With the ’78 Accord, I remember Dad telling us kids to be careful getting in, or else the floor might break through.

Sure, these little death traps got 30 mpg or more, necessary after the oil crisis of the 1970s, but as a kid I felt more confident on my Huffy than some of the rolling garbage cans we carted around in. We were poor immigrants, so we had to make do for our first few years in America, but these cars weren’t exactly old when we had them. In less than a decade, they aged like milk left on the counter.

But I digress.

In 1964, America was building things of lasting substance and value. Tangible things you could hold, sit in, touch, look at, show off, and admire. Things that required human creativity, engineering, and craftsmanship. Things other than reality TV shows or Books of Faces.

“Impala,” elegantly rolls off the tongue like “Eldorado,” suggesting power, prestige, and elegance. And with a Chevrolet badge, that prestige and elegance still came with a reasonable price tag: $3,828 with air conditioning, about $26,000 today, similar to the price of a 2010 Impala.

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An impala, in case you were wondering, is Bambi on steroids. Impalas travel in massive herds as large as 200 and have enough speed and agility (60 mph, 33-foot leaps), to outrun leopards and cheetahs.

When I arrived at Gary’s house in Oregon, the first thing I noticed was the Impala’s length. It barely fit into his garage, a two-car unit attached to a modern home. The space was intended for Camrys, Altimas, and Malibus rather than the roadworthy Queen Marys of the 1960s.

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Enthusiasts favor Impala’s balanced styling, with just enough chrome to glimmer without looking like one of Elton John’s suits. This third generation, model years 1961-1964, turns heads without screaming for attention the way domestic cars of the 1950s tended to do, though I have a fondness for the ornately chromed pastel-colored Chevrolets, Buicks, and Cadillacs of the 1950s.
Its long body, straight belt line, upright shoulders, long nose, and extended rear deck convey quiet, powerful confidence, like a locomotive. And its proportions are perfect with an open, pillarless greenhouse offering excellent visibility in all directions and a beltline low enough to dangle your arm over the door. Classic American full size motoring is about comfort cruising, so the arm dangle is absolutely necessary to complete the experience.

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Gary bought “Betty” in 1999 for only $3000, owned by a gentleman in San Luis Obispo, CA. Since then he’s spent around $20,000 on restoration and upkeep, including a 4-speed transmission upgrade (THM700R4 pulled from a Chevy Silverado), an engine rebuild, and an interior restoration. Considering the $6600 I’ve spent on restoring my ’91 Saab in just eighteen months of ownership, I think he’s doing fine, especially considering the Impala’s age at nearly half a century.
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Some collectors are into extreme preservation, hauling their cars from show to show on covered trailers, racking up trophies while driving only 50 miles a year. I respect the exhausting work done by preservationists, but cars were meant to be driven. They aren’t diamonds or jewels. They are machines.

Gary’s ’64 is nice enough to appear at shows and take pride in, but minor indications of regular use keep it from being a prissy garage queen. When his Cadillac is in the shop (he and I both drive 2001 Sevilles, his white, mine silver), he takes his Impala to work. He can park Betty outdoors without worrying that one scratch or dent will ruin his week.

It also helps that General Motors built and sold millions of them, making used parts easy to come by and reducing rarity which in turn reduces owner anxiety.
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Approaching the Impala, the first thing I noticed was the exterior door handle. Made of chrome with chunky mechanical pushbuttons, they feel more substantial than the plastic pull-levers typically found on modern vehicles. On some recently built (last 20 years) Lincolns and Chryslers, the feather-light plastic door handles occasionally break off. I’ve witnessed it myself.

Opening the door, I noticed an impressive absence of sagging or creaking. After a half century on the road, the doors still closed with a heavy, reassuring sound, like an older European luxury car but with definitive mechanical action. It reminded me of my old Saab in that regard, a testament to sound engineering, precise manufacturing, and quality materials.



A lot of GM cars from the 80s, by contrast, suffered from sagging and drooping doors.

Years ago, a friend of mine came over to visit in his 1988 Chevy Cavalier. When he opened his door to go home, it fell completely off, hitting the pavement. I was watching from my bedroom window and thought about going outside to help, but I was already in my robe getting ready to sleep and it was cold outside, so I stayed indoors and watched him reattach the door and drive home.
He told me the next day that the pin in the hinge broke. Under CEO Roger Smith’s reign of destruction, GM had taken its cost cutting to such an extreme that doors were no longer able to remain attached. Even Yugos, to their credit, didn’t have this problem.

[The moral of the story is, if you want to know how well a car is made, ask the doors.]

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I took a seat in the front bench while Gary was under the hood installing the battery. I pushed and knocked on the dashboard, door panels, and headliner, looking for creaks, gaps, and potential rattles. I played with the glove box to see how precisely it opened and closed — glove box doors and headliners are my “thing.” Impressively, everything was tightly bolted together and rock solid. The only cracks were little ones in the corners of the padded dash, expected for a car that enjoyed several decades of southwest American sunshine.

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The seats felt good too, wide and inviting with enough room to lay across and take a nap. It wasn’t quite like sitting on a couch. Rather, it was a bench with supportive springs that offered a sense of space while providing a reasonable level of alertness and support. There were, obviously, no side bolsters, but this was a six-person American family car, not a sport coupe. And thanks to front and rear bench seats, the kids (as many as four if your wife tagged along) could slide in and out of one door when parallel parked.

Gary, his girlfriend Erin, my friend Ian, Gary’s dog Hoover, my dog Newton, and I all climbed in and headed to the dog park.

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After months of being snowed and rained on, I was welcomed to Oregon by a beautiful, clear, sunny day. Oregonians love the outdoors, and they have the privilege of favorable weather, clean air and water, and beautiful scenery. Naturally, we opened all the windows.

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I was pleased to discover that the Impala has no B-pillars! For the layman, this means that there is no pillar separating the front door glass from the rear. Like a convertible, when all the rear windows are down, the roof is anchored at the front and rear while the middle is wide open. Back seat passengers enjoy a full, unimpeded view of the world outside.wpid-P1060117-2011-07-4-00-26.jpg

The glass is trimmed with chrome and seals nicely when closed, and the rear windows, unlike modern cars, go all the way down. Being a child of the 60s in an Impala must have been quite a treat, with room to stick your whole head out the window and catch the rushing air (and bugs) in your mouth. Modern vehicle beltlines are in some cases so high that a child can’t even see out the window. I suppose that explains the popularity of back seat DVD players. How many times is a kid supposed to Find Nemo?

If the view outside got boring, a kid could always stare at the sky:
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When creative types ran the show at General Motors, designers could pull off clever details like this starry headliner.

Small but significant details like the shiny metal buttons on the upholstery and unnecessary goodies like the large pieces of chrome on the outside edges of the seatbacks conveyed a sense of luxury.
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Gary fired up the 250hp 327 cubic inch small-block OHV V8, surrounding the cabin with a smooth and unexpectedly refined rumble. For the uninitiated like me, classic cars are expected to burp, shake, and lope like drag racers with aggressive cams, as portrayed in Hollywood films. Instead, the Impala was “Jet Smooth” — its factory exhaust carried just enough sonic feedback to remind us of what was under the hood without being disruptive or crude. If Saabs were inspired by Swedish fighter jets, the Impala was influenced by the Boeing 727.

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The sound instantly reminded me of the 6.2L OHV V8 in the Cadillac Escalade with a smooth, deep tone and an elegant ‘woosh’ under acceleration.

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A clever light on the dashboard reminds the driver that the engine is still cold, so he knows to leave the heat off until the light goes away.

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The factory push-button AM radio was there to maintain the interior’s original appearance, and Gary cleverly installed a modern head unit inside a dash-mounted tissue box holder. The tissue box was a dealer-installed option and has a chrome door to hide its contents, so it looks appropriate, discourages thieves, and delivers something a bit more interesting than dead trees.

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Air conditioning was still a noteworthy option in 1964. A blue bowtie sticker on the rear glass proudly announced it the way badges on cars today brag about having turbochargers, roll stability control, superchargers, ethanol flexfuel capability, hybrid drive, and electronic stability control. The compressor is by Frigidaire, a company that General Motors used to own when GM owned everything, before America started buying its appliances from Samsung (Korea), Haier (China), and LG (Korea).

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Thanks to minor enhancements including front and rear stabilizer bars and wider tires, we didn’t wander sloppily around corners or plow through curves like hockey pucks. It was like driving a modern SUV, but with the handling reassurance that comes from being closer to the ground.

Coil springs support the front and rear along with premium KYB G2 shocks.

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After a half hour or so at the dog park, we headed to lunch and Gary let me take the wheel. This was my first time, ever, piloting a classic, iconic American car.

And I’m pleased to say, it far exceeded my expectations.

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No, the old Impala isn’t as sharp around corners as modern family sedans, nor should it be. We’ve advanced five decades since 1964, and despite the regression of the 70s and early 80s, I’d be disappointed if we hadn’t made any progress by 2011.

Besides looking and sounding great, there’s a few things the Impala does noticeably better than some modern cars. On the road, I felt like I owned and dominated the earth. The width and weight, rather than making the car cumbersome, inspired confidence.



Maybe it was an illusory sense of security, but I felt entirely comfortable at modest speeds through corners — we carved through what Gary called the roller coaster road. Except for parking, I felt right at home behind the wheel on the Impala’s big, inviting bench seat.

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Some large cars make you feel like you’re “driving Dad’s car,” like a ten year old wearing pants that are ten sizes too large. The 1997 Cadillac Deville I once drove gave me that impression. But in the Impala, I had a wide, commanding view, easy access to all the buttons and switchgear, easy reach of the pedals, and a good sense of control.

The power drum brakes felt reasonably modern, stopping undramatically with adequate force.

We parked at Oregon State University, and with its array of round tail lights and distinctive green paint, it draws the eye like an outdoor museum piece. However, its subdued enough to tastefully fit in with traffic, drawing admiration without begging for it.

That was a motoring experience I will fondly remember.

Ratings:
Its a challenge to numerically evaluate a car from 47 years ago with criteria based on modern standards, so I’ll do my best to justify each rating and take the era of technology under consideration.

Ride: 10/10 — Steady without being harsh and soft without being sloppy. There’s an earth-conquering road-dominating feel that makes you feel in charge.

Powertrain Overall: 10/10

Engine: 10/10 — For its time, the Impala is surprisingly efficient. Thanks to four speeds, you can expect 10/15 mpg or better, similar to a Lincoln Navigator. The 327 hums with unexpected refinement and delivers a mountain of torque.

Transmission: 10/10 — Gear shifts are imperceptible! While it isn’t geared for drag races, there’s enough grunt at low revs to feel confident pulling into traffic and overtaking trucks.

Comfort: 10/10 — A bench seat (front and rear) doubles as a mattress with enough bottom and back support to keep the driver awake and alert. There’s REAL room for six adults, even fat ones. Everything is within easy reach. Thanks to the absence of B-pillars and the low beltline, visibility is outstanding.

Steering/Handling: 6/10 — Lots of turns lock to lock with a bit of manual recentering required. Its steady and straight on the open road, which is where it counts. There’s a reasonable amount of feel through the large thin-rimmed steering wheel. Although the Impala is similar to today’s Cadillac DTS in length, parking can be a bit cumbersome until you get used to it. Once you’re out on the open road, driving the Impala is delightfully easy.

Features/Accessories: 8/10 — For its time, the Impala was well-optioned with air conditioning and power brakes. A wide selection of seating, roof, transmission, engine, and interior configurations made the Impala suitable for almost every middle and upper middle class buyer, quickly becoming the best-selling car in America at around a million units a year. Accessories and options for 1964 include air conditioning, AM-FM radio with mechanical presets, cruise control, wire wheel covers, rear speakers, electric clock, windshield washer, trash box, and a choice of sixteen exterior colors and seventeen interior colors. While much of what we enjoy as standard in today’s cars was optional in 1964, it was at least available.

Interior: 10/10 — A clean, timeless dashboard with well-marked gauges, easy to reach switches, and pleasing lights make it a nice place to spend several hours. After half a century there are NO SQUEAKS OR RATTLES. Materials are durable, precisely built, and exceptionally well made with an old-world sense of craftsmanship. Most surfaces are soft and nicely padded.

Styling: 10/10 — Timeless thanks to its straight lines, beautiful proportions, and well-balanced mix of creases and curves. Because of its low roof and extended hood and rear deck, it looks long and sleek.

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Braking: 6/10 — Power brakes, while hardly neck-snapping, feel modern and safe.

Reliability: 10/10 — Well, its lasted this long, hasn’t it? Unlike some classics from the same era (particularly France, Italy, and the UK), there’s no risk of catching fire or losing the use of your headlights and wipers in a thunderstorm. You can expect an Impala to be as loyal and reliable as a labrador. Maintain it and it will serve you.

Overall: 9.8/10 — With a few minor modernizations and upgrades, the Impala is the perfect classic car for people who drive their collectibles. You get a sense of pride, confidence, and pleasure from the high build quality, dominating road presence, and overall sense of solidity.

If you’re looking for a piece of American culture that you can drive daily or across the country and repair with hand tools in your garage, this is it. Replacement parts and body panels are widely available and knowledge and expertise are plentiful. Performance upgrades are limited only to your budget.


Fast Tube by Casper

They really don’t make them like they used to.
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See gdwriter.com for more details and pictures of “Betty”