Yearly Archives: 2011

Bringing Home A Monster — Mom’s New 2011 Infiniti QX56

Back in August I went car shopping for my mom. She was interested in a new three-row SUV to replace her Lexus GX470, so I went window shopping on her behalf with my friend Ian. We took a glance at Cadillac and BMW and took the Mercedes GL and Infiniti QX for a test drive. We came away quite impressed with the build quality and expensive materials used in the Infiniti, and it drove like a much smaller, livelier vehicle.

My mom leaned toward the Mercedes GL450 for its styling and appearance, at least as depicted in the brochures I gave her, but I urged her to go see the new Infiniti QX56 in person. As strange looking as it was, it drove and felt like something much more substantial and luxurious than its relatively competitive sticker price.

Additionally, my friend James, an engineer at Nissan who I met through NICOClub, offered us a generous Infiniti VPP discount coupon that took seven thousand dollars off the sticker price, eliminating any negotiation or haggling.

On September 14, 2011, she called me and asked me to meet up with her at Bommarito Infiniti. A week earlier, I e-mailed Bob Maher, our salesman at Bommarito, and told him she had decided to keep her Lexus for a few more years. Then unexpectedly, the night of 9/13 at around midnight, she called and told me she wanted to see what was out there and asked me to meet up with her in the afternoon.

It was a gloomy, rainy Wednesday, generally terrible weather for buying or selling automobiles. I picked her up in my Seville and drove her to Bommarito Infiniti on Manchester Road. We took a white QX56 for a drive and Mom was immediately impressed, commenting that it “drove like a car.”

She called my stepdad to have him take it for a drive and share his opinion — he favored it as well, especially the birds-eye-view camera system and the generous living room-inspired interior. [He arrived at the dealer in his impressively clean 2004 Lexus LX470 with 320,000 miles on the clock.]

Mom’s GX470 was still at the Lexus dealer for service, completed weeks earlier but never picked up because of her travel obligations. She intended to keep it for a few more years, especially after having the timing belt and water pump serviced, but said that after being without it for so long, she didn’t miss it.

And that’s the problem with so many Lexus products. A handful will make an impact, like the LS sedan, the first generation SC, and the current F-series performance cars, but the rest tend to be filler, tucked into well-defined marketing segments without any inspiration.

Even my mother, an automotive layperson, acknowledges this problem.

As questionable [that’s me being exceedingly polite] as the Infiniti’s styling may be, it’s still a joy to drive and an absolute pleasure to be in. Her agenda that day was supposed to be restricted to window shopping and kicking tires, but there was no reason to visit the Mercedes dealer or go anywhere else. For her, the Infiniti was the one.

That’s what happens when a driver emotionally connects with a vehicle, it cultivates (or breaks) brand loyalty and transcends test numbers in magazines or specifications in brochures. All the black and red dots in Consumer Reports mean nothing when it comes time to drive, look at, and feel a car.

Perhaps, then, the average Camry driver isn’t a boring, soulless person as I often tease. It’s possible that he or she hasn’t been exposed to the automotive greatness that’s out there, the motoring joy that’s waiting to be experienced. Like art, like food, like music, like everything in life, it takes time and effort to make a connoisseur out of a mass market regular.

In the words of my friend Gary, “Life is too short for boring cars.” Preach on, Mr. Hebding.

Back to the QX…

My parents decided to keep their ’06 Lexus GX as an extra beater car, something for house guests to drive around. This made it difficult for Bommarito to make a profit on the deal since a trade was out of the equation and the VPP voucher set pricing well below invoice.

They decided to finance it and purchased the optional dent coverage and maintenance package, so at least the dealer made a few coins.

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They took delivery of a gray AWD QX56 with black leather, 22-inch wheels, door and bumper sills, a roof rack, and rear seat entertainment. The sticker was $68000 but thanks to the VPP discount from James they took it home for $61000, a massive discount.

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Bob introduced my mom to some of its most important functions and paired her iPhone to the head unit.

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The truck has grown on me, but the look hasn’t and probably never will.

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Bommarito’s clean but small service bay.

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It’s hard to tell from a blurry camera phone photo, but the stitching is impressive.

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Lighted sills.

My role as an advisor was complete, so I headed home while mom and her husband finished up the deal. I drove over to her house later that night to take a closer look at the new truck.

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It barely fits into the garage, a modern home built in the 1990s. I’m still having trouble accepting its weird face.

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Her Lexus was short enough to park behind the freezer. The QX had to be parked at an angle to get around it. My aunt’s Subaru Impreza will be moved to this space instead.

To inaugurate her purchase, she’s driving the Infiniti to Minnesota. A road trip is an excellent way to bond with a new vehicle, learning its quirks and discovering new features. [She was surprised when I told her about the heated steering wheel.]

Big thanks to my friend James Sisson at Nissan for the discount, Bob Maher at Bommarito Infiniti for the sales experience, and the engineers in Japan for creating this Godzilla on wheels.

Click here for a review and comparison.

Low Blow From Nissan

https://rumors.automobilemag.com/feature-flick-nissan-ad-points-out-it-has-cars-and-honda-doesnt-69479.html

In its latest round of ads, Nissan is calling out its Japanese competitors for having supply issues. Those supply issues were caused by a natural disaster that severely affected Honda’s production volume, with Honda sales down a quarter compared to last August.

http://jesda.com/2011/03/12/the-impact-of-japans-quaketsunami-on-transportation-auto-manufacturers/


Fast Tube by Casper

What do you think? Have Nissan’s marketing team in Tennessee gone too far?

Buy Here, Pay Here! 1996 Geo Prizm Review… for Poor People

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You lost your job at the bank. The BMW 3-series you couldn’t afford to begin with was repossessed and your adjustable rate mortgage drove you to foreclosure.

You moved into your mom’s basement to cut costs and the only means you have of going to interviews is dropping her off at work in the morning so you can borrow her Plymouth Voyager, the same one that carried you band camp in high school. Even your juice box stains are still there.

Sounds like a setup for a Chris Elliot sitcom.


Fast Tube by Casper

Like most Americans, you neglected to save money while you were employed, blowing your wad on conveyor belt sushi and fancy neckties, leaving you with few options for transportation. Your only choice, then, is to take the bus to the ghetto and visit one of those seedy “buy-here pay-here” lots. You know, the ones that get beater cars from wholesale auctions for $500 and dump them them on poor saps for $4000.

Never been to a BHPH dealer? Allow me to explain — I regretfully worked for one years ago.

The business scheme is simple:

  1. Make a profit on the down payment alone, charging $1000 down for a car you paid $500 for
  2. Issue a loan to the buyer for twice the value of the car. Call it a “purchase contract” to get around financial regulations.
  3. Repossess the car if they can’t make the payment.
  4. Clean up the car and resell it again.

Because a profit was already made on the initial down payment and any subsequent payments, there is no need to sue the deadbeat customer for costs or even report the repossession on their already trashed credit. Just find another sucker and repeat.

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A car purchased for $500 could theoretically earn as much as ten grand. It’s legal usury! Brilliant!

Of the mid-90s Luminas, Escorts, Accords, Tauruses, and Explorers that find their way on to these lots, I came up with an ideal choice, the Geo Prizm.

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, and… Toyota

Do you remember the Prizm? It was a Toyota Corolla, but not quite, made in Fremont, California in a joint GM/Toyota plant called NUMMI. The sheetmetal, wheels, tires, glass, and radio came from General Motors, but the powertrain and interior were 100% Toyota.

For less money, and without upsetting your annoying blue collar pro-union neighbor, you could enjoy the reliability of a Japanese car with the pride of a Chevrolet badge. Sounds like a win for everyone, right?

Sort of.

Through the NUMMI partnership, GM intended to learn from Toyota’s manufacturing processes, and Toyota sought low-risk access to the US market.

From the Harvard Business Review blog:
For Toyota, this was its first major manufacturing investment in the United States. What better way to learn about the peculiarities of the US automotive market than from GM? Toyota learned how to adapt its famed Toyota Production System to work with US suppliers, US government regulations, and, most importantly, the UAW. After just two years in school with GM, Toyota invested in its first wholly-owned plant in the USA; this new plant in Kentucky eventually became Toyota’s largest outside of Japan.

General Motors, for its part, also sought to learn from the venture. But its task was more challenging. GM indeed sought to glean tips from Toyota’s magic. But the way the joint venture was run kept this learning to a minimum. GM placed a dozen or so managers at the plant; Toyota was in charge of operating the plant and filling other managerial positions. The learning-by-doing of Toyota managers turned out to be the more useful way to learn.

The NUMMI plant initiated production with the Chevy Nova in 1984, a rebadged Toyota Sprinter built on Toyota’s AE82 platform, which was in turn an uplevel version of the Corolla.

I had the privilege (sarcasm) of owning one of these a decade ago and found it to be insanely dependable in my abusive teenage hands and inexplicably quiet and comfortable on the highway. My crude and tinny 1988 Nissan Sentra, by contrast, made 55mph cruising feel like 200mph behind the seat of a wooden canoe.

For more information on NUMMI and its legacy, listen to NPR’s four-part program.

GM continued its Japanese partnerships by opening the CAMI plant on Ontario as a joint venture with Suzuki. There, Suzuki and GM produced the Geo Tracker, Geo Metro, Suzuki Sidekick, Suzuki Vitara, Suzuki XL7, Chevy Equinox, Pontiac Torrent, and GMC Terrain. [Suzuki sold its 49% share of the plant in 2009.]

The Chevy/Geo Spectrum, meanwhile, was a rebadged Isuzu Gemini designed by Giugiaro in Italy and sold globally by General motors.

“Getting To Know Geo”

From 1989-1998, all of GM’s Asian-partnership vehicles were sold under the Geo brand. Instead of creating its own subcompacts to compete with the onslaught of Japanese competition, General Motors simply built/rebadged and sold its own versions of Japanese-engineered cars.


Fast Tube by Casper

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GM’s intent was to retain customers who were flocking to imports in droves while learning how Japan designed, engineered, and produced automobiles. Unfortunately, buyers of Geos were fully aware of the Japanese hardware powering their dependable little cars, and when it came to to replace their Prizms, Spectrums, and Metros, they headed over to Toyota, Suzuki, and to a lesser degree Isuzu dealers for a replacement.

The Geo Lineup:

  • Geo Tracker (Suzuki Sidekick)
  • Geo Storm (Isuzu Impulse)
  • Chevy/Geo Spectrum (Isuzu I-Mark/Gemini)
  • Geo Metro (Suzuki Swift)

By 1998, all Geos were sold as Chevrolets and the Geo brand was discontinued. [And no one cared.]

Now, let’s talk about the Prizm.

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THE COSTS

If you’re living at home and struggling to find work, there’s nothing better out there than the Chevy/Geo Prizm. I know, the Metro gets 50mpg and costs next to nothing to insure, but all the hypermiling assholes out there are hoarding them in response to $3-$4 fuel prices. Forget about the Metro. It’s a 3-cylinder shitbox for people who are penny wise and pound foolish.

The Prizm will do 35mpg on the highway if you keep the speed at 60, and it’s actually kind of safe. I wouldn’t enroll it in a demolition derby, but compared to the diminutive Metro, the ‘luxurious’ Prizm is a Cadillac Fleetwood. You could even order one with cruise control, power windows, power mirrors, a Delco premium radio, and leather.
Leather! In a f***ing Geo!

The Prizm LSi came with Toyota’s super dependable 115hp 1.8L 7AFE. It isn’t quite the same as the 189hp Toyota 1.8L used in the Lotus Elise, but it surprisingly sounds much alike. LSi also received wider tires, a stabilizer bar, and a four-speed auto with four gears instead of three. You could option out a Geo Prizm like a Lexus ES250. All of that would have set you back $15000, a lot of money for the mid 90s, but you could drive it for 300,000 miles if you wanted it to, passing it down to your kids, grandkids, or a homeless person.

And remember, the Toyota Corolla optioned the same way would have cost just under $17000. In the economy class, there’s no such thing as prestige. Whether you drive a Neon, Protege, Cavalier, Prizm, or Corolla, your neighbors will think you’re cheap, poor, or operating a meth lab.

Today, a Prizm will run you $1000-$2000. The one I’m reviewing was purchased by my cousin for $2200 with 137,000 miles, an LSI with power mirrors, manual windows, a Delco AM/FM radio, a 1.8L engine, and a 4-speed automatic. If you aren’t getting the five speed manual then you MUST get the four-speed automatic. It adds 3-4 mpg on the highway and responds quickly to throttle inputs.

The guy he brought it from was a Russian mechanic. We went to his house in a dark, wooded area late one night and his plain-looking decor reeked of Soviet-era misery. He was probably a contract killer back in the motherland. Needless to say, we didn’t do a whole lot of negotiating. Russians do make excellent mechanics though, as the car had been nicely maintained and well kept.

THE DRIVE

You get the impression, thanks in part to its feather-light 2400lb curb weight (only 300lbs more than a Miata) and impressively responsive 4-speed automatic, that the 115hp Prizm has 160hp on tap. The well-aged loosey goosey suspension also introduces a lot of rocking and diving, so the whole car leans back like a boat, throwing you back in your seat and giving your unemployment-collecting ass the impression that you’re in a much more powerful car.

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115 neglected and abused horses live here.

At idle, it shakes like a wet dog, shuddering and buzzing throughout the cabin, and on takeoff the Prizm makes no attempt at masking the sound of the engine. You hear everything, and thankfully, the Toyota 7AFE sounds surprisingly racy. The sound is somewhat deep for a cheap four-banger — nothing I’d open up with an exhaust system, but as long as it’s going to make a bunch of noise, it may as well be slightly entertaining, which it is.

Around town, the Prizm is the kind of fun, a lightweight toy you can throw hard around corners (tires squealing in agony of course) without caring what happens to it. On the highway, it’s another matter entirely.

I took it to Texas once, making it all the way to the Gulf of Mexico.

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It lacked cruise control and it was impossible to find a comfortable position to rest in the passenger seat. Trying to nap in a Geo Prizm is like being tortured at Guantanamo Bay. There’s nowhere to place your arms due to the low roof. I’d wake up every five minutes because the car would crash over bumps and potholes (my friend drove).

The factory AM/FM radio and factory speakers were blown and sounded like four cheap, old, clock radios rather than four speakers. Fed up, I put my Kindle on the dashboard and used it to play music because it sounded better than the Delco system that came with the car.

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THE INTERIOR

Setting aside those complaints, there’s more space in the Prizm than you might think. The back seat folds down to accommodate cargo, and you’ll find 12 cubic feet of space, comparable to a 1996 Camry which holds just over 14 cubic feet.

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The interior is plain looking, though the teardrop center stack is a nice touch, and the upper door panels have a padded vinyl area that makes for a nice place to rest your elbow or hang your arm.

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The map pocket has plenty of space for maps or… fast food receipts.

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This is what the average interior of an old Geo looks like — a rolling storage unit that pays tribute to the owner’s disappointing personal and professional life. Rear seat passengers get a reasonable amount of space, on par with some midsize cars.

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Front seats offer wide, firm support. It’s not exactly Lexus-like in here, but the upholstery is durable and well made.

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It came with a basic Delco AM/FM radio. I plucked this Delco tape deck out of a junkyard for $10. Just a month after getting it, the tape mechanism died. It does actually sound nicer than the previous radio, with equalizer presets and a larger display. I got tired of the blown factory speakers and installed two pairs of cheap but cheerful Pioneers from Wal-Mart. Would you believe me if I told you it actually sounds decent now?

The cupholder is useless, however. Cans will slip right through. Larger cups block the radio controls.

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You don’t even get a tachometer — just a temp gauge (which is absent from too many cars these days), a speedo, an odometer, and a fuel gauge as well as a handful of warning lights. It’s clear and easy to read, which is all anyone can ask of a 15 year old economy car. The dashboard itself is padded and somewhat soft, precisely installed with thin panel gaps and NOT ONE SQUEAK OR RATTLE. You can feel the quality through and through.

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It even has a tilt steering wheel. All the switchgear are solid, chunky, and precise, vastly superior to what GM was putting in Cadillacs in the early to mid 1990s.

THE EXTERIOR

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In case you’re fooled into believing your Geo Prizm is just a Camry with a lower sticker price, here’s a manually retracted whip antenna to remind you of the poor choices you made in life.

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I convinced my cousin to slap a Ron Paul sticker on the trunklid.

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The missing wheel covers are a trademark of economy cruising. You’re so busy saving money on fuel and not paying for health insurance that you can’t be bothered to spend $20 on new caps.

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[Above: 1996 Toyota Camry]

If you stand 20-30 feet away and squint after doing a few shots of tequila, you might think that this lowly Geo is a mid 90s Toyota Camry, a car regarded by the press as looking and feeling like a discounted Lexus. The Prizm actually looks more like a Camry than Toyota’s own Corolla.

There’s nothing striking or interesting about the jellybean styling of this car, but it’s agreeable and normal looking enough to blend in with traffic and keep you from looking like too much of a pauper, which is all anyone can ask of a beater car.

And unlike those smug hypermilers in Metro hatchbacks, you won’t look like a high school dropout with a stash of weed under the front seat. Unfortunately, in this economy, you’ll still be slinging wieners alongside them at Hot Dog On A Stick, where you’ll be forced to work until you can find a use for your $40,000 Fine Arts degree.

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Driving Video:


Fast Tube by Casper

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Ratings:

Ride: 5.5/10 — Long suspension travel soaks up undulations, but a lack of insulation and refinement sends potholes up your spine. At 161,000 miles, this car is well worn. That there is any ride quality left at all is impressive.

Powertrain: 7/10 — Loud but efficient, super dependable. A transmission that’s surprisingly responsive. It does 0-60 in 10 seconds but feels quicker.

Braking: 7.5/10 — Decent thanks to the car’s light weight. Likely prone to fade, but responsive around town with a nice bite.

Steering/Handling: 5.5/10 — Wallows and bobs around but light weight keeps it from being too ponderous. The Mazda Protege and Dodge Neon feel sharper and more precise. Steering is overboosted and artificial. It’s easy to toss around but a far cry from lively.

Audio/Accessories: 7/10 — Can be packed to the gills with leather, cruise, and power everything.

Interior: 7/10 — Plain but functional with high quality switchgear and door/dashboard materials that exceed the norm for its class. It’s surprisingly quiet at 70mph with wind noise levels that could be described as better than acceptable. Tire and road noise are omnipresent, however.
You won’t believe me, but the carpeting in this Geo is thicker and deeper than the rat fur they use in the base model Lexus LS460. [I told you you wouldn’t believe me.]
Compared to the Dodge Neon, Chevy Cavalier, and Ford Escort, the Geo Prizm feels like a more expensive car, and there’s space that approaches midsize territory.

Comfort: 4.5/10 — A reasonable front seat. Back seat passengers don’t get much of a view but there’s reasonable leg room for people of average height (5’9”). Head room is limited. Trying to take a nap in the passenger seat on a long trip is a pain thanks to its low roof, which means you can’t stretch out even with the seat leaned back.

Styling: 6/10 — It’s agreeable and anonymous, which means people won’t look at you driving around in your Geo. I’d say that’s a good thing.

Quality/Reliability: 10/10 — You can’t break this thing. From 137,000 to 161,000 miles it’s only needed brake pads, tires, a starter, and a battery. It has a very slow power steering leak that needs to be topped off once a year. There are no oil or transmission leaks whatsoever. AC blows cold. Heat works well. Never runs hot or overheats in 105-degree summers.

Overall: 10/10 — What? 10/10 for a 15 year old shitbox? That’s right. If you’re trying to save money or need something to inconspicuously transport drugs, the Prizm will reward you with loyalty that makes your labrador look like a communist. Buy it, beat on it, and get on with life.

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Specifications:

1.8L 7AFE Toyota I4

Power: 115 bhp
Torque: 117 lb-ft

3- or 4-speed automatic, 5-speed manual

0-60 mph: 10-12 sec
Quarter mile: Eventually.

Wheelbase: 97 in
Length: 173 in
Width: 66.3 in
Height: 53.3 in
Curb Weight: 2359 lbs
Towing Capacity: LOL

Fuel Economy:
Between 26/30 city/highway and 27/34 city/highway depending on which transmission and engine.
Expect 26-29mpg in real world commuting.

New Porsche Ads: “Everyday” cars?

Once a legendary brand like Porsche achieves the pinnacle of reverence, recognition, and respect, there’s nowhere left to go but sideways, if not down.

The marketing geniuses in Stuttgart want us to believe that the Porsche 911 was “Engineered for magic, everyday.”


Fast Tube by Casper


Fast Tube by Casper

It isn’t unusual to reposition luxury items as durable goods during times of economic distress, but who buys a 911 because it has space for manure and groceries? Note the lack of footage depicting racing, scenic drives up the coast, or power sliding with plumes of white smoke. Note the absence of professional drivers in in closed courses.

The mundane has displaced the aspirational.

In the “Everyday” campaign, Porsche’s iconic brand achieves an uncomfortable level of humility and humanity, risking its lofty status as unobtanium for the lucky few. Perhaps this is Porsche’s way of disconnecting the brand from the self-absorbed Bluetoothing yuppies who define the average Boxster or Panamera owner, or maybe Porsche is backing away from the trendy botox soccer moms who cruise around in Cayennes with latte-filled cupholders.

Motoring enthusiasts tend to shy away from such characters, tucked away in their insolent chariots, but I’m compelled to concede that their trend-setting purchases lend an air of aspirational achievement to everything from pants to purses to automobiles.

They are, for better or worse, the envy of lower and middle classes, the chic and stylish who latch on to trends that eventually trickle their way down. Likewise, Porsche’s brand image is the envy of the auto industry.

“Everyday” appeals to that audience, depicting 35-50 year old accomplished professionals doing grocery runs, dropping off children, or commuting. Unfortunately, there’s a lack of fantasy and imagination — it doesn’t elevate the cars above the monotonous routines of American life, blending them in rather than offering a form of escape.

The appeal of a high-end sports car is its inherent impracticality and its strict focus on performance, a way for the driver to convey to Capri Sun-slinging slobs in minivans that he’s successful enough to buy a completely unnecessary car, that he didn’t have to settle or compromise to make someone else happy, that he has the means to achieve total satisfaction without having to settle.

For comparison:

Fast Tube by Casper

If you have a new 911 in your three-, four-, or five-car garage, you make a clear assertion, intentional or not, that you have the means to own a sports car, a delightfully wasteful and impractical toy that you exclusively enjoy. That’s the nature of aspirational marketing, and after working tirelessly for decades to achieve that coveted status, Porsche has chosen to set it aside in favor of messages more suited for Honda and Toyota.

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Baffling.

Saab Files for Voluntary Reorganization

http://newsroom.saab.com/news/news/saabautomobileabfilesforvoluntaryreorganization.5.6b70d8f7131ef59e7497ffe58.html

“The proposed voluntary reorganization will be a self-managed, legal process under Swedish law headed by an independent administrator appointed by the court who will work closely with the Saab Automobile management team. As part of the process, Saab Automobile has formulated a reorganization plan, which includes a number of aspects aimed at lowering its cost-base and creating a viable, competitive and independent organization. This reorganization plan will be presented to creditors in more detail within three weeks of the filing, although this period could be extended by the court.”

Think of it as a mild version of Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Is it a moment of hope or Saab’s last gasp for air?

Like a dramatic death in a Hollywood film, Saab is taking slow, painful steps toward liquidation, receiving small injections of cash, breathing its last breaths and saying its final words before slowly, tediously, and agonizingly passing on.

Despite its inability to build cars and fulfill orders (production in Sweden has stalled pending supplier and labor union negotiations), CEO Victor Muller has assured the public, particularly Chinese and Russian investors, of the brand’s viability. Future investment from China, which could take anywhere from months to years, is tied up in red tape (unintentional pun).

Without cars to sell other than the GM-built Saab 9-4x crossover, consumer interest has waned and prospective buyers have shied away due to legitimate concerns that a bankruptcy could adversely affect warranty coverage and parts availability.

Saab loyalists daring enough to place orders (11,000 pending) have been waiting months for production to resume in Trollhattan and Swedish police fleets have canceled their orders for new 9-5s, choosing Volvos instead.

As an advocate of free market capitalism, I understand and accept Saab’s inevitable demise, but as an auto enthusiast, every niche brand that closes its doors is one less spark of inspiration in an industry that builds increasingly drab and dour lookalike cars (I’m looking at you, Toyota Camry).

Where would the auto business be without independently-minded niche brands like Lotus, Mazda, and Saab? In all likelihood, it would be just fine, churning out transportation appliances by the millions for fat, vapid Americans.

You might love your car if…

…you give it a human name. Female names work well for muscle cars, classics of any sort, and luxury cars.

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For example, Eleanor from “Gone In 60 Seconds” or Alice, the bright red Datsun pictured below.

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http://www.nicoclub.com/archives/1967-datsun-wrl411-4.html

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You give it an animal or pet name.

Pet names work well for small Japanese or European cars like VW Beetles, Miatas, MGs, and Fiats. For example, an MG Midget named Meatball. A popular trend is to name Beetles after Beatles, especially Ringo.

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I named my old Saab Ducky because the large spoiler looks somewhat like a duck tail.

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You unnecessarily refer to it by its nickname, make, or model.

I have this annoying habit of telling stories by referring specifically to the car I was in at the time, regardless of how little it relates to the story.

For example, “I was driving around in my SL the other day and I saw a dog peeing on a baby” or “Hey, I’ll be back. I left my phone in my Cadillac.”

Its the same way cell phone braggarts say “I got a message on my iPhone” or “I was talking to so-and-so on my Evo”

Sure, it’s obnoxious. That’s the point.

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You drive for no reason.

One afternoon, I was in the mood for something sweet and my intention was to bring home a half gallon of ice cream, my usual choices of either Breyer’s vanilla or Edy’s slow-churned.

I live across the street from a grocery store. I know, it’s better to walk and I could benefit from the exercise, but the absence of a crosswalk means it’s safer and quicker to drive.

It was a hot day in July, 100 degrees and miserably humid. With the top open (the air conditioning in my Saab doesn’t work), the faster I drove the cooler I felt. Idling in traffic on a hot Missouri day is like sitting in a swamp, so I spun around the parkway to cool off. I kept driving and before I realized how far I’d gone I accumulated forty miles.

I finally got home, reached into the back seat for my grocery bag, and found my ice cream — a dripping, soggy sack of warm milk. Ice cream is never quite right once it’s melted and refrozen, so I threw it away.

And it was totally worth it.

Happy motoring.

Restore Driving Pleasure: NO MORE Touch Screens

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I find myself agreeing with Andy Rooney with alarming frequency.

I don’t believe he’s done a 60 Minutes commentary on the nuisance of automotive touch screens, but if he had one in his daily driver, which I assume is a 1930 Hudson/Essex he bought brand new when he was 50 years old, he would likely share my frustrations.

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There’s nothing wrong with buttons. You push them (or in a car, you feel around for them) and an action occurs. Just fifteen years ago it was a big deal when standard cars adopted electronic pushbuttons in place of sliding climate control levers.

Now, touch screens are the trendy new thing in interior design, promising to provide one clean, central location to control everything. The problem is, like your computer at home, “everything” is buried in a mess on your hard drive, under several layers of menus and folders.

While I wouldn’t call myself luddite, I despise purposeless gimmicks intended to make drivers feel like they’re in something “advanced” without actually advancing or improving anything.

And I could wax nostalgic about the “good old days” when cars were more dependable because they were simpler, or safer because they were larger, but I’d probably be wrong. Modern engineering, computerization, and more advanced materials allow vehicles to enjoy a longer lifespan with less required maintenance, all while consuming fewer resources and producing less pollution.

I’m okay with technology, but it has to make life better, not worse.

Take for example Ford and GM’s capacitive-touch controls.

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Instead of buttons, the Lincoln MKX and Chevy Volt have little bumps on flat plastic surfaces that feel like braille. When you touch the bumps, the charged surface senses your finger and activates whatever programming is necessary to perform the requested task, just like the display on an iPhone.

Unlike an old-fashioned resistive touch screen (which the Volt and MKX also have), there is no contact layer sandwiched between thin plastic sheets. With capacitive touch, your finger physically makes an electrical connection.

On paper, it sounds clever. Buttonless surfaces are nicer to look at and arguably last longer. If you’ve ever been in a GM product from the 2000s, you’ve probably noticed the poorly applied paint that slowly rubs off the buttons, leaving them white and blank like little Chiclets.

Unfortunately, in practice, because capacitive buttons rely on your finger to make direct contact with the surface, wearing gloves or having moist fingers (rain/snow) interferes with their operation, causing touch commands to frustratingly do nothing in response.

Most importantly, you lose the satisfying push of a real moving button, that little bit of physical interaction that connects you as a human being to your automobile. The end result is an input method that feels numb and offers no improvement in control.

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Mercedes, Audi, and BMW go a step further, replacing push-button functionality and standard touch screens with joystick-operated displays that control navigation, audio, climate systems, telephony, and in some cases performance and traction settings. Although it does a fine job of removing clutter from the dashboard, it has the unfortunate consequence of turning the driver’s seat into a desk chair. [Imagine using your laptop while driving.]

I will concede on one point — complex functions like navigation require more advanced input methods for zooming, panning, and destination entry. But having to go through layers of menus to enable seat heat (with MyFordTouch, for example) is obnoxiously counter-intuitive.

It may work on the Enterprise where Captain Picard can order Wesley Crusher to handle the controls for him, but its a danger and a hassle for the average American driver who has to be the captain of his own ship while managing its subsystems by himself.

This isn’t just an automotive problem. It’s a disease infecting every facet of modern living. My mom’s induction cooktop is a General Electric Profile series, fairly high-end stuff for a home cook. It even has a motorized vent that rises up from the counter. It’s black, sleek, and looks nothing like gigantic stove in Alex P. Keaton’s kitchen on “Family Ties.”

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(Michael J. Fox, “Family Ties,” NBC)

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This wretched heap of modern insanity uses capacitive touch buttons (like those in the Chevy Volt) on a surface where water, heat, and moisture are always present. Once the buttons are covered in a couple drops of water you have to grab a rag to wipe them clean before you can use them, and even after wiping them clean they need a second or two to dry. Meanwhile, your pasta is boiling over, turning your Top Chef moment into one of Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares.

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Perhaps, in GE’s carefully controlled development labs, there are no such things as spills or accidents, but in households where amateurs do the cooking, water will boil over, oil will splatter, and sauce will drip.

Like a high-end European luxury car, this expensive and over engineered appliance has been a source of ongoing misery, repaired several times and finally replaced with another at a cost of nearly two grand. Meanwhile, the low-end Hotpoint in my apartment has never failed, and my made-from-nearly-scratch marinara sauce turns out beautifully every time.

But I digress…

What one simple button (or knob, or switch, or lever) can achieve should not be replaced by cryptic menu-driven nonsense as it detracts from the focus and joy of driving.

Yes, joy! In the pursuit of technological nirvana, some have neglected the importance of motoring pleasure as we’ve turned our cars, at one time our gateways to limitless freedom, into rolling iPods and Androids stuffed with god-awful Rihanna ringtones.

Motoring (at least, for the types of folks who read this blog) is supposed to be about the senses — detecting the road surface through the steering wheel, listening to the tires, experiencing the pull of centrifugal force, feeling the hum and vibration of the motor, being reasonably comfortable, and hearing the tone of the exhaust.

The more feedback you receive, the more natural the machine feels, the more control you have over your vehicle, the more enjoyment you get out of driving. Simple.

Mazda calls it “horse and rider.”


Fast Tube by Casper

Together, these physical qualities create an emotional connection to machines that would otherwise be no more engaging than hair dryers. Emotions are what the unwashed masses, puttering around in sanitized boxes, have abandoned in favor of touch screens, driver nannies, and bluetooth bullshit.

The Lund family would probably disagree with me; I imagine most American drivers would.


Fast Tube by Casper

Review and Comparison: 2011 Mercedes-Benz GL450 vs. 2011 Infiniti QX56

Mom needs an SUV.

Okay, that’s a lie. She doesn’t “need” one nor do most people who own them, but she has the means and the desire for something spacious and comfortable with a commanding view of the road. The American concept of luxury is, after all, about having more than you need, and what more effectively conveys that than a multi-ton monster with seldom-utilized off-road capability and enough leather to blanket a hundred starving doe-eyed orphans?

Her 2006 Lexus GX470 is rapidly approaching 100,000 miles, and while that’s entirely reasonable mileage for a modern automobile, especially a Lexus, she’s tired of the odd electrical glitches, the lack of space, and the terribly awkward side-opening rear hatch. The swing-out door is unusable when parallel parked and on a breezy day it flops around like a wind chime.

It’s also due for a timing belt and water pump, a somewhat involving task at a fairly reasonable one-time (per 100k) cost of $2000-3000 (including other 100k services). But if $3000 is going to be spent on maintenance, she may as well keep it for another 100,000 miles.

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The trade-in value of her GX is a hair under $25,000, a testament to Lexus’s stellar resale values. Compare that to my 2001 Cadillac Seville which cost the original owner $57,000 when it was new. After accumulating 109,000 miles, I paid only $3800.

Mom is prepared to supplement her trade-in with $30,000-$40,000 cash for a total expenditure of $65,000. That puts the BMW X5, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Audi Q7, Range Rover Sport, Infiniti QX56, Cadillac Escalade, Lincoln Navigator, Mercedes GL, Infiniti FX, and Acura MDX all within reach.

This trendy category, once the exclusive domain of Land Rover, Lincoln, and Cadillac, has become quite crowded since the turn of the century.

Picking out a car for a family member is always sensitive matter, especially when you’re the family’s “car guy”. Your advice comes with additional heft and credibility, which brings with it pressure to choose wisely and carefully. Thus, safety and reliability, characteristics I tend to brush off as the owner of an aging Saab convertible, suddenly become high priorities. And if I put my mother in a lemon, the blame would rest on my shoulders (and I wouldn’t hear the end of it).

I spend the bulk of my time on this blog equating luxury and performance to godliness, arguing that real “car guys” would man up and forgive a few glitches and defects in the pursuit of joyful motoring and aesthetic pleasure.

Unfortunately, little of that applies to Mom. My conclusions in this comparison, therefore, will be based primarily on reason and practicality. That’s icky and unfamiliar territory for me.

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Her criteria:

Stylish – She considered a Lexus RX years ago but couldn’t accept its “smashed balloon” styling.

Brand New – She doesn’t want something that someone else has sneezed or farted in. I tend to favor used cars, but to each their own.

Luxury Badge – People have their brand biases, and in the same way that I would likely never buy a modern Lexus or Toyota, she flat out has no interest in Jeep or Audi. That rules out the stunning new Grand Cherokee, a favorite of mine. Additionally, Chrysler’s post-bankruptcy “house cleaning” resulted in the shutdowns or franchise license revocations of small, well-reputed stores including my favorite, Reuther Automotive in Creve Coeur MO. The dealers that remain (though not all) tend to be slick-talking, ethically questionable retail megacenters.

V8 Power – She prefers the sound, feel, and prestige of a V8, simple as that. A V6 would feel like a step backward, despite today’s sophisticated and highly efficient six-pots. This unfortunately means that the stylish Audi Q7 and well-equipped Acura MDX are out.

Spacious Cargo – Her GX470 is narrow and its third row seats fold up against the walls of the interior (pictured below), gobbling up already limited cargo space. She carries around suitcases of documents and medical charts all over town and uses every available cubic foot, of which the GX470 has few to spare.

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Three Rows of Seating – Preferably, a third row that folds flat.

Features – Heated seats and rear entertainment. I have younger siblings addicted to everything Disney. Some manufacturers, particularly BMW and Mercedes-Benz, charge an outrageous premium for headrest-mounted LCDs and a DVD player.

Reliable – In case service is required, the local dealer needs to be reputable and trustworthy. The Lexus owner experience is top notch with professional service departments that feel more like luxury hotels.

$70,000 or Less – To my surprise, finding with a V8-powered luxury SUV with rear entertainment for under $70k is a little bit of a challenge.

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Not important:

Fuel Economy — Why would you buy a luxury car if you were a miser?

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Now that we’ve established a list of wants, let’s go over what we’ve ruled out:

Acura MDX — Nice packaging and an excellent price, but no V8.
BMW X5 V8 — High price. Lack of cargo space.
Infiniti FX45 — Lack of cargo space.
Range Rover Sport — Reliability issues. Lack of trustworthy local dealers. Small interior.
Audi Q7 — Potential reliability issues. No V8.
Jeep Grand Cherokee — Lack of prestige. Some questionable dealers.
Lexus GX460 — An outstanding service experience compromised by a cheap interior, lack of space, awkward styling, and unjustifiably high price.
Lincoln Navigator — Cheap interior. Garish styling. Lack of trustworthy local dealers.
Cadillac Escalade — High price. Cheap interior. Lack of trustworthy local dealers.

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And then there were two:

Mercedes GL450
Infiniti QX56

On one scorching hot August afternoon, we visited four dealers and drove two SUVs.

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The 2011 QX56

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I drove to Bommarito Infiniti in Ellisville MO with my friend Ian. I’m quite familiar with this dealer — I used to bring my old Q45s here for maintenance and repairs and always received outstanding service.

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It’s a small but busy place, awkwardly wedged in between a Best Buy and a Mazda dealer, filled to the brim with cars and SUVs. Despite these limitations, Bommarito claims the title of Missouri’s top Infiniti dealer by volume.

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It’s refreshing to be able to walk into a showroom and enjoy a moment to yourself, free to examine the merchandise without being hounded. The sales staff at Bommarito have always been polite, respectful, and knowledgeable.

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The wraparound wood trim is accented with ‘burned’ edges, fading elegantly into the black upholstery. The QX’s dashboard, center stack, and door panels are stitched in soft leather without a hard or unpleasant surface anywhere.

This new QX, now based on the world-renowned Nissan Patrol rather than the domestically built Armada, is Infiniti’s opportunity to carve out a piece of the full size market, capitalizing on the Escalade’s age and the Navigator’s questionable aesthetics.

Though unfamiliar to most Americans, the Nissan Patrol is an off-road legend, sharing the heroism and dependability of the Toyota Land Cruiser and Land Rover Defender.

The new QX also gains 80hp for a total of 400 angry, aggressive horses.

Although Lexus and Cadillac offer softer hides of leather in their base models (Infiniti charges extra for premium leather), the new LX570 and Escalade lack the Infiniti’s precise interior assembly and attention to detail. Interior panels line up accurately and stitching is straight and precise with narrow panel gaps and properly fitting compartment covers. The Escalade Platinum’s Tehama leather trumps all, but the cost of entry is astronomical at $80,000.

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In terms of size, the QX56 is a class larger than the Mercedes GL, rivaling the Escalade and Navigator with a full-size cabin and 9000-pound towing capacity. [Mom doesn’t own any boats, trailers, or horses as far as I know.]

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Chrome knobs and edge-to-edge ‘burnt’ wood give the center stack a feeling of warmth and delightful excess.

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Unfortunately, looking at the QX56 is a challenge. The tall chrome grille and garish chrome fender vents make the Q look like a late-model school bus that’s been given the Autozone treatment. I guess that makes the QX… a cool bus?

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Cadillac, Lincoln, Land Rover, and Lexus favor tall, upright headlights that suggest strength and power while the QX is given a swept-back Infiniti G37-inspired face. Combined with the bulbous protruding nose, it has the unfortunate effect of making the QX56 look like a sedan that’s been jacked up for truck duty rather than appearing sturdy and purpose-built.

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Triangular horizontal tail lights give the Q too much of a minivan-like appearance, reducing visual height on a vehicle that’s supposed to look tail and muscular. The chunky rear spoiler is a nice feature, however.

From the back or the rear quarter, the big Infiniti looks fairly agreeable, but the protruding nose and chrome fender vents draw attention to themselves, marring the appearance.

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Our very professional sales specialist, Bob Maher, displayed a depth of knowledge and introduced us to the bird’s eye view camera. By pressing “Top” you get an overhead view with all of your surroundings, like playing the original version of Simcity or Grand Theft Auto. As a result, parking and aiming this gargantuan beast is a breeze. Clever!

The rest of the electronics were equally impressive with traditional knobs and switches to supplement the large 8-inch touch screen. Some manufacturers, like Jaguar for example, have replaced simple and straightforward knobs and buttons with touch screen-exclusive controls, requiring the driver to poke through slow-moving menus just to adjust the temperature. Infiniti scores points for being modern without being obnoxious.

Ian noticed that the air conditioning took a while to get cold, a potential annoyance in a region where summers can be brutal — it could be because the truck we drove had been sitting for a while.

The 13-speaker Bose audio system was a bit of a letdown, sounding muddy and dull for this class of automobile. Power was sufficient but the audio was just sort of “there” without any significant presence or clarity. This is, however, the QX56’s only evidence of cost-cutting. It’s perhaps on par with the unimpressive Mark Levinson system in Mom’s 2006 Lexus GX, which in addition to sounding a bit bland has an amplifier that likes to obnoxiously choose whatever volume it wants (the dealer can’t figure out the cause).

Getting into the Q’s third row is a breeze, with a lever that folds the second row seatback down and flips the seatbottom forward in one swift move — zero effort required. In the middle of the test drive, we pulled over so I could crawl into the back and see for myself how comfortable (or miserable) it was during the ride back to the dealership. It was, quite easily, as spacious as the Lincoln’s Navigator’s adult-friendly third row thanks to its efficiently packaged independent coil spring rear suspension.

Unfortunately, pushing and holding the button to drop the third row took some time, like waiting for paint to dry as the electric motors slowly did their work. Still, it beats the configuration in the Escalade which requires the third row to be physically removed from the truck in order to enjoy a flat cargo area.

Driving the QX was a pleasure, like being held in the air on a throne by servants. Nissan’s 400hp VK56VD V8 hauled the Q-ship to 60 mph in just over six seconds — not bad for a 5900 pound house on wheels.

The engine lacked the sublime silky refinement of Toyota’s 4.7 and the throaty, soul-stirring thunder of Cadillac’s 400hp OHV V8, but the proof is in the pudding. Among full sizers, the QX is by far the quickest. With its power and presence, I could see this being a hit in Texas.

Shifts were responsive yet pleasingly imperceptible, blipping through all seven gears with electric-like smoothness.

Although body roll was well-controlled and steering felt confident and precise, the the Bridgestones were a bit eager to squeal in low speed cornering.

To remedy this, Infiniti offers an expensive option called “Hydraulic Body Motion Control”, available as part of a $4100 Deluxe Touring package that comes with cooled seats, 22-inch wheels, upgraded leather and wood, and a climate system that detects pollution and cleans the cabin air.

With HBMC, fluid-filled shocks at each corner are connected by tubes, providing body control and load leveling. In the early 1990s the Infiniti Q45a pioneered a very similar system referred to simply as “Active Suspension,” later duplicated by Mercedes-Benz as part of its “Active Body Control” system featured in the CL coupe.

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With 4WD and rear entertainment, the QX56 comes to a very reasonable $64,545, $5000-$10000 cheaper than its competitors.

Infiniti isn’t offering any discounts or incentives because it doesn’t need to — the QX56 is already the cheapest SUV in its class. Fortunately, my friend James, who works as an engineer for Nissan, was generously able to provide a friends and family pricing coupon that takes nearly $5700 off the sticker price, well below dealer invoice. Of course, all the money in the world won’t seal the deal if Mom doesn’t care for the look.

We’ll see what happens when I take her to see it.

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The GL450

Mercedes-Benz never directly competed in this class, with the traditional six-figure Gelandewagen and the cheap and diminutive ML-class leaving a huge gap in MB’s light truck portfolio. To remedy this, an all-new GL was unveiled in 2006. The GL was originally intended to replace the legendary G-class, but thankfully Mercedes decided against it.

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Tri-star Mercedes is perched atop a hill in Wildwood, Missouri, a distant exurb with a growing and wealthy population. I’ve traditionally been more of a BMW guy than a Mercedes guy, but I’ve warmed up to MB’s latest offerings, especially as BMWs have become esoteric and technologically excessive.

I walked inside and approached a fully-optioned GL550 in the showroom, with LED-lighted aluminum door sills and rear entertainment. I asked for a salesman and got Jeff, an experienced and friendly gentleman who took us for a tour of the GL.

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The version I was interested in was the GL450, starting at $62570 and reaching a dizzying $69475 with navigation and rear-seat entertainment. A $2000 conquest incentive (for anyone who trades in or owns another brand) brings the price down to a more palatable $67475.

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The rear entertainment system was particularly disappointing, an apparent afterthought with ill-fitting LCDs awkwardly mounted to the seatbacks, looking more like a $100 kit from Wal-Mart than a $1700 option (Infiniti only charges $450). The monitors do not match the interior.

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I’ve seen rusty old Monte Carlos in East St Louis with better looking headrest configurations.

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We went outside to look at a GL450 with more of the options my mom was interested in.

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The cabin is, unfortunately, quite narrow. The power-folding third row drops briskly with the touch of a button but cargo space appears to be no better than Mom’s Lexus GX. And if the purpose of this exercise is to upgrade and gain more space, this seems insufficient.

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The cabin was a noticeable step down from the QX56, with hard plastics on the doors and around the center stack. While Infiniti draped every surface of the QX in soft stitched and padded leather, Mercedes went with hard rubberized plastics.

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Like the Escalade, the door panels are hard and shiny except for the arm rest and door insert. The cost-savings are obvious.

This GL450 was unfortunately out of fuel, so Jeff took it across the street while we waited in the showroom.

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These two posters in the showroom display Mercedes-Benz’s impressive design heritage. The GL follows this tradition with a tuxedo-sharp chiseled exterior, balanced proportions, and expensive looking styling details.

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Our salesman noted the triangle on the mirror for blind spot warnings.

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The infotainment system was quite a letdown. Instead of a touch screen, the GL has direction buttons, like an old Sega gamepad, that requires the driver to stare at the screen while he fusses with the arrows to select a function. The COMAND navigation system is an unintuitive mess, something that would likely result in “help me with this piece of you-know-what” phone calls from my mother.

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The tuner display is quite clever, with a stylish red needle that sweeps back and forth to emulate an analog tuner. It makes noises, sounds like a radio. The Harman Kardon sound system is, like the Bose system in the QX56, bland and dull. It certainly isn’t awful, nor is it good enough to pay extra for.

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The upper half of the cockpit is nicely adorned in stitched simulated leather but the lower half is hard and feels a bit cheap, just like the Escalade.

Driving the GL450 was pleasurable, with a solid teutonic feel typical of most MB products. Unfortunately, also typical was the lack of ‘bite’ from throttle input. There’s a noticeable dead spot on initial pedal travel, almost like the throttle cable is loose (the GL has drive-by-wire input, not a throttle cable). Perhaps Mercedes engineers wanted takeoffs to be smoother or offer a safety buffer in case of accidental pedal pressing. Whatever it is, it takes a little bit of joy out of initial takeoffs.

Once in motion, the 335hp 4.7L V8 produces a pleasing, sophisticated sound, preferable to the coarser noise of Nissan’s 5.6L V8. Unfortunately, despite weighing nearly 600 pounds less, the GL450 is at a 65hp disadvantage, taking just under 7 seconds to reach 60mph, a half second slower than the QX56. You probably wouldn’t notice the acceleration difference unless you drove them back to back.

The GTronic 7-speed automatic works well, producing crisp and sporty shifts when called for, drawing little attention to itself.

At highway speeds, the GL feels more confident and secure than the QX, owing to its lower ride height and cozier cockpit.

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In the Escalade, Cadillac places a beautiful sheet of brushed aluminum trim across the upper dash while Mercedes uses a thin strip of wood. As a result, the passenger side cowl of the GL is a vast expanse of stark black nothingness.

Hip and leg room feel narrow but seats are well-shaped and supportive.

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The distance between the driver’s seat and the rear hatch is less like a luxury SUV and more like a midsize wagon.

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I like the extensive use of white stitching. This GL450 is equipped with MB-Tex, a long-lasting simulated leather material. [Leather costs extra.]

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While the stitched door inserts are nice, the upper door panel uses hard, cheap-feeling plastic. If you, like me, are someone who dangles your arm out the window as you drive, you will notice it.

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I wanted to sample the third row but getting back there was a chore. Our salesman pulled all the right levers and latches but couldn’t get the seat to flip forward.

When we returned to the showroom, another salesperson assisted and discovered that an unusually hard pull was required to unlatch the second row seat. Once I got back there, the third row was tolerable but not quite appropriate for adults.

Overall, the GL450 gives the driver an impression of being in a tall sport wagon (capable of towing over 7000lbs) rather than an SUV, great for folks who need the cargo, towing, and passenger space but don’t want the bumbling truckiness of larger competitors.

Unfortunately, half a decade has passed since Motor Trend gave the GL450 its “SUV of the Year” award in 2007, and its somewhat cheap interior and lack of technological sophistication make the asking price of nearly $70,000 a bit outrageous. Fortunately, its driving dynamics and beautiful styling make up for some of its glaring flaws. As a driver, I would be torn between this and the BMW X5.

Bonus: The air conditioning is ouststanding.

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Missouri is hot in August. We stopped at McDonald’s for 50-cent soft serve.

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We pulled into Elco Cadillac to see if the latest Escalades had any interior improvements. The answer is, simply, no. At $74,635 this Escalade, which includes AWD and rear seat entertainment, was a non-contender. The price might have been more justifiable if the third-generation Escalade wasn’t plagued with wind noise and potential transmission issues.

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The vultures at Elco chased us, quite literally, as we walked to the door:
“HEY! HEY YOU! LET ME GET YOU A CAR! HEY! STOP! WAIT! OH GOD PLEASE DONT LEAVE I OWE MY COKE DEALER A TON OF MONEY!”

I increased my pace but the guy kept coming closer, nagging and yelling as I tried to gain some distance from him. Finally, all 350lbs of him caught up and I told him “No! Just looking!”

Within 20 seconds, two other salesmen approached. We left the dealership immediately.

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It was quite a contrast from the calm and professional sales experiences at Bommarito and Tri-Star.

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Meanwhile, at St Louis Acura, things were quiet.

There were a handful of customers there, mostly interested in the MDX.

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The MDX, reasonably equipped with SH-AWD and rear entertainment, is less than $50,000, and with its spacious interior and reasonable styling (aside from the nasty silver beak), it could be, in addition to the Buick Enclave, the best luxury bargain out there.

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The wood trim in this particular MDX looks cheap and fake.

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The interior is spacious lacks a sense of occasion.

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The dashboard design appears to mimic the BMW X5.

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A face only a mother could love, though not my mother, since she isn’t interested in the MDX (she’s previously owned two). There’s also a lack of a V8. Acura’s ability to compete in this segment has been hampered by limited (though competent) powertrain options.

We didn’t bother driving it since she had no intention of buying anything with a V6.

We did make a brief stop at Autohaus BMW but no 4.4L X5s were available to test drive.

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After a day of kicking tires, what we’re left with is this:

–2011 Infiniti QX56 with rear entertainment for $59000 after the employee pricing discount.
–2011 Mercedes-Benz GL450 with rear entertainment for $67450 after the conquest incentive.

Is the GL450 $8500 better than the QX56? No, but it’s a better driver with beautifully sculpted skin. This is a bit of an apples to oranges comparison since the lighter GL emphasizes European values while the massive Infiniti feels very American (despite being Japanese). The Mercedes GL and BMW X5 are more direct competitors while the QX goes head to head with the Escalade and Navigator.

Additionally, mom’s Lexus could probably do another 100,000 miles, but the weird electrical glitches, annoying rear hatch, and lack of cargo space would continue to be a nuisance. We’ll see what she decides when I take her around to look. What people want on paper doesn’t always correspond to how they react emotionally.

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2011 Infiniti QX56 Specifications and Ratings:

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Ride: 10/10

Powertrain: 9.7/10 — Engine sounds a bit coarse, but makes up for it with serious power. Shifts beautifully. Impressive acceleration.

Braking: 9/10 — Good pedal feel and impressive braking distance for a house on wheels.

Steering/Handling: 6.5/10 — Accurate steering and good body control for its size.

Audio/Accessories: 8/10 — Easy to use electronics, clever bird’s eye view camera, traditional knobs and buttons for climate and audio controls. Bose stereo is nothing special. Power folding rear seat and power rear hatch operate slowly.

Interior: 9/10 — Base leather isn’t quite as soft as Cadillac and Lexus. Exquisite wood trim. Extensive use of stitched and leather-wrapped surfaces. Not one hard surface in the entire vehicle.

Comfort: 10/10 — A real third row that adults can use as well as first and second-row seats that feel like living room recliners.

Styling: 2.5/10 — Awkward and confused from most angles. Better in person than in photos.

Quality/Reliability: 10/10 — If the world-class Nissan Patrol that the QX is based on is any indication of its reliability, it should run forever.

Overall: 8.5/10 — A world-class luxury truck that could use a reskin.

Specifications:
VK56VD 5.6L 32v Aluminum V8
Direct injection

Power: 400 bhp @ 5800 rpm
Torque: 417 lb-ft @ 4000 rpm

7-speed adaptive-shift automatic with manual mode rev matching

0-60 mph: 6.1 sec
Quarter mile: 14.8 sec @ 94 mph
Braking, 60-0 mph: 130 ft

Wheelbase: 121.1 in
Length: 208.3 in
Width: 79.9 in
Height: 75.8 in
Curb Weight: 5850 lbs
Towing Capacity: 9000 lbs

Fuel Economy:
14 city / 20 highway (4WD)

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2011 Mercedes-Benz GL450 Specifications and Ratings:

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Ride: 9.6/10 — Reassuringly firm. Smooth and planted on the highway.

Powertrain: 8.9/10 — A delightful sound from the sophisticated DOHC 4.7L V8. Crisp and responsive shifts. Annoying dead spot in the throttle at takeoff.

Braking: 10/10

Steering/Handling: 8.9/10 — A large SUV that manages to feel like a midsize sport wagon.

Audio/Accessories: 4/10 — Disappointing Harman Kardon audio. Fussy navigation. Lack of a touch screen. Clever radio tuner. The rear seat entertainment system is a cheap looking afterthought.

Interior: 6/10 — Plain but functional. Feels like a big step down from the ornate QX.

Comfort: 8.5/10 — Cozy but comfortable except for the somewhat tight third row.

Styling: 9/10 — Five years later it still looks fresh. The magic and luster of timeless Mercedes design.

Quality/Reliability: 7/10 — German engineering? Yikes. To its credit, quality surveys have been mostly kind to the GL.

Overall: 7.5/10 — A driver and a looker with a questionable interior. Straddles the line between sport wagons and full size SUVs. High price tag seems hard to justify. Its age is showing. For me, it could be an attractive used vehicle in 5 years. For mom, it lacks space and refinement.

Specifications:
DOHC 4.7L 32v Aluminum V8

Power: 335 bhp @ 6000 rpm
Torque: 339 lb-ft @ 2700 rpm

7-speed G-tronic automatic with manual mode

0-60 mph: 6.5 sec
Quarter mile: 14.8 sec @ 93 mph
Braking, 60-0 mph: 115 ft

Wheelbase: 121.1 in
Length: 200.6 in
Width: 76.4 in
Height: 72.4 in
Curb Weight: 5340 lbs
Towing Capacity: 7500 lbs

Fuel Economy:
13 city / 17 highway (4WD)

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Part 2 — Bringing it Home:

http://jesda.com/2011/09/20/bringing-home-a-monster-moms-2011-infiniti-qx56/

Google Buys Motorola Mobility

Cliffs notes on Motorola Mobility:

  • MM was spun off by Motorola in January 2011
  • Motorola’s mobile division, once a pioneer of analog handsets, rapidly lost market share to competitors by being too slow to switch to digital
  • Carl Icahn, with a reputation for leading corporate takeovers (TWA/American Airlines) is a major investor in MM
  • MM shareholders will earn a 73% premium over the company’s average price
  • Google will gain more than 17,000 patents
  • Google will now compete more directly with Apple as well as handset makes that use its Android OS
  • Motorola Mobility’s best-known products include the Droid smartphone and Xoom tablet

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-08-15/google-agrees-to-acquisition-of-motorola-mobility-for-about-12-5-billion.html

2013 BMW 3-series Unveiled

[Thanks Gary H!]

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They appear to have sharpened the headlights, further distancing BMW’s volume car from designer Chris Bangle’s flame styling. The tail lights appear more upright, following the styling of the current 5-series.

Expect production to begin in 2012 for 2013 model years.