• Part 1 – Travel from St Louis MO to Thailand
• Part 2 – Heading to Bangkok
• Part 3 – Temples, Outdoor Markets
• Part 4 – Shopping in Bangkok
• Part 5 – Phuket, Patong Beach, Massage Parlor
• Part 6 – Patong Beach, Kickboxing
• Part 7 – Zoo, Elephant Show, Flying Home

We stopped at an outdoor market to buy some food. My brother and I found a strong and consistent wifi signal and I made some free international calls home (thanks to Google Voice, PBXes, and Sipdroid — see the article I wrote). I sent my bank an email letting them know I was traveling and that my card needed to stay activated. Since we seem to go to this outdoor market regularly, I’ll be bringing my laptop next time.
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My grandfather sat down at the table to eat with us. He handed me a bowl of sliced fruit, which I ate. My aunt walked by after we ate it, took a whiff, and said it was rotten. Oops. He grinned.
[Well played, trolldad.]
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A narrow bottle of Coca Cola. This country is slowly embracing plastic, which is good in some ways, shitty in others. Coke seems to taste purer and cleaner from a glass bottle.

Finishing up Bob Lutz’s book “Guts”. I have the Kindle version.

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7 June 2011

Mom decided to make macaroni and cheese, which was quite good. The problem is, after not consuming dairy for so long, my digestive system responded poorly to it.

Mom brought back some noodles for lunch. It was hot out and the kitchen/dining area doesnt have AC, so I brought the bowl back to my room. Eating hot soup in a hot climate makes no sense to me.

Mirinda, pineapple flavor

A lizard decided to hang out.

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8 June 2011

The “Town Car” arrived. Heading to Bangkok today

Room for 15 people, or a dozen Americans

Breakfast. Blech.

Went to a Jiffy gas station to buy some snacks

The sandwiches here lack content. You get bread and a meager helping of meat and cheese. Those brightly colored rolls on the lower shelf are cakes made to look like sushi. Cute.

It was food, and it got the job done for less than a dollar. An equivalent gas station sandwich in the US is inexplicably $2.80 or more.

Delicious melon flavored yogurt drink

The smaller siblings

HELLO KITTY SHIT IS EVERYWHERE.

A Chevy Optra. It had Nismo stickers on the front, lol

The driver had some planes on the dashboard

The Indian part of Bangkok

The womenfolk (my mom, aunts, and grandmother) went clothes shopping, so I took a nap.

Parking here was illegal, and the driver was ticketed for it.

This guy’s political signs are all over town. He’s very expressive.

A BMW 730Li in the worst color possible

Police lights for sale.

At the police station paying the parking fine. The impound lot was packed.

The site of some recent protests of some sort.

It basically says, “Dont let animals get elected”

This guy loves his lubricant spray

The railroad crossing lights come on ten minutes in advance of the train’s arrival. It was a bit annoying.

Some buildings

Toll booths every 15 or so miles, 25 baht or just under a dollar for 4-wheel vehicles

The old Bangkok airport

More tolls

Arrived at the mall

Robinson, the green sign on the right, carries products similar to Dillards, Macy’s, and the former Famous Barr.

1937 Lynx Sprite

Went to a thai food buffet at the mall. It was mediocre.

Went shopping for Nice Pants (TM) and Nice Shirts

I was tempted to buy white leather sandals. My brother got a new shirt, some khakis, and some dress shoes. I cant figure out why so many pants were tall. Thai people are not tall. Fortunately, tailoring is free! You buy your pants, get them measured, and they adjust them on the spot at no cost at all.

“Kansas City” lol

Wicker baskets and such. I think Brown Farm is where Jesdas are made

Douchey Apple-type store

Frunway or F Runway? Either way, it makes no sense

Calculator watches

lol, take your kid in to have it shined

The fifth floor of the mall is dedicated to games, computer parts, and TONS of pirated movies and software. There was a crowd around the LCD screens watching bootlegged films

Nice looking mall

Delicious ice cream. You could really taste the vanilla. People were ordering them with honeydew and cantelope on top with a heavy squirt of coconut syrup. I think the ice cream is fattening enough on its own.

lol, a foot. I think Mega Sale is a Best Buy type of store

I ended up not buying anything. Their pants maxed out at 36″. I need 38-40″. I suspected also that their idea of a men’s Large shirt was really a smallish Medium.

I was hoping I’d see some attractive women at the mall, but they were overwhelmingly bland.

9 June 2011

Went out for lunch with my aunt, brother, brother, and sister

She decided to take us on an alternate route on an even narrower dirt road

Noodles, my hat. The food here is quite good, especially for 60 cents, but I suspect its been making me sick.

Let my brother play Angry Birds to make him stop running around

My cousin got a Gameboy Advance from Bangkok. Whats awesome is that they preload the system with four dozen pirated games so you dont even need to use the cartridge.

Because of the sausage fingers, I thought I took this picture of my hand and wondered why I took it. Then I noticed the shorts. One of my cousins apparently took it.

Some guy campaigning for public office

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10 June 2011

Went out for lunch with my uncle

Rode around in the “rear passenger compartment”

Fauxhawk, 55mph

M-150 energy drink and an orange Fanta for me

lol, “Dang Beauty”. “Dang” means “Red”. lol

A dog taking a nap on the shoulder of the road. I dont understand how there’s so little roadkill when so many dogs around here sleep on the pavement. I’ve never seen a dog on a leash, being walked, or being played with. They just kind of hang out.

My uncle went to buy some bedding or something

Waiting on the shoulder where he parked

Heading home. Gets really swampy as we approach the house. This area used to be much denser with trees and tropical stuff, but much of it has been converted to agricultural use

Someone else’s house, floodproof

Just noticed this poster outside the house. No way in hell would I drink that water. That kid is guzzling a glass of parasites

11 June 2011

My stomach has been getting worse and worse. My asshole burns like a cross at a Klan rally. I went to Tesco/Lotus with my mom and uncle and bought some pro-bacterial yogurt drink, mango juice, croissants, and wheat bread. I’ll be sticking to clean packaged foods for a while.

Americans like to bitch about “manufactured” and “processed” foods but you know what? After two weeks of pissing fire out my asshole, that processed packaged shit from the factory is a godsend — free of parasites with predictably acceptable quality. Bring on the preservatives. Bring on the xantham gum and sodium benzoateactylateaciteafate. Just spare me the live microscopic creatures.

They need to work out some kind of shopping cart return method. They just pile up out here.

lol, compact pickups with cargo stacked to the sky

A little parade of some sort. Apparently its a celeration of some young fellow being ordained as a Buddhist monk.

After taking two Aleve and a long nap, I feel better. Tomorrow I’m going to the golf course to drink beer and enjoy some wifi.

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12 June 2011

Driving range. I don’t play. I’ve tried, I’m terrible at it, and I don’t enjoy it.

Ordered boiled rice with chicken for breakfast. I havent seen AIM windows in days!

Started raining hard.

This dog hangs out at the golf course. I assume he does his #1 and #2 out there too.

ZZZzzzzzz

After a few hours of interwebs we walked over to the restaurant for lunch. We both ordered fried rice with chicken and cokes. This plate of food was $1.60!

Granted, the serving was small but people here eat less.

Later that day, we went to an outdoor market.

My brother bought some ear buds, $10 USD

13 June 2011

The next day we drove 10 hours to Phuket. We hired a driver. They’re typically $20 a day plus fuel, food, lodging, etc.

My cousin

My sister

We had the van, a 15-passenger Toyota Commuter, inspected before the long drive.

Third-world Escalade

I bought juice and a hamburger at a convenience store.

My brother got rice and eggs.

I also bought a tuna sandwich

LISA LISA AND THE CULT JAM!

Some salt farms

The trees were looking more and more tropical as we got closer to the water

Stopped at this rest area. The bathrooms were AWFUL.

Stopped here for dinner. It was a large outdoor-style place with several food stands and tables. There was a roof but you were basically sitting outside.

Some pork, rice, and vegetables.

• Part 1 – Travel from St Louis MO to Thailand
• Part 2 – Heading to Bangkok
• Part 3 – Temples, Outdoor Markets
• Part 4 – Shopping in Bangkok
• Part 5 – Phuket, Patong Beach, Massage Parlor
• Part 6 – Patong Beach, Kickboxing
• Part 7 – Zoo, Elephant Show, Flying Home