No, it’s because the Prius stands as an example of a stark future where motoring is a chore rather than a joy and the driver is the equivalent of an office worker operating a computer mouse. The automobile then becomes a rolling cubicle — soulless, joyless, and indistinguishable.

Yesterday, my friend asked if I wanted to tag along for a 350-mile trip to Chicago. He recently became an avid collector of Bang and Olufsen audio equipment and found some deals on Craigslist. Between my Saab’s limited cargo space (and ailing 22 year old automatic transmission) and his 15-mpg Escalade, the solution was a rental car.

For $18/day, Avis promised him a standard vehicle similar to the Ford Fusion. When he arrived at the airport counter they had none left and asked if he’d be interested in a Prius. For fuel cost reasons, he accepted the offer. Personally, I would have asked for a Dodge Dart, Ford Focus, Chevy Sonic, Chevy Cruze, or Dodge Avenger — anything but a Prius. The Nissan Altima, for whatever reason, had an upcharge.

Here’s realistic a breakdown of fuel costs for St Louis to Chicago round trip, taking $4.29 regular unleaded (screw Illinois taxes) and 700 miles into account:

My 1991 Saab 900 turbo automatic — 21mpg premium — $150
His 2008 Cadillac Escalade — 15 mpg regular — $200
2012 Dodge Avenger 2.4 — 28 mpg regular — $107
2011 Ford Fusion 2.5 — 28 mpg regular — $107
2012 Toyota Prius — 45 mpg regular — $67

As you can see, the Prius saves $127 over taking his Escalade and $77 over taking my Saab. Unfortunately, only $34 is saved over taking a Ford Fusion, a significantly more comfortable car with a better sound system, superior handling, and better high-speed stability. That’s a lot to sacrifice for a measly $40 (divided by two people!).

Even though this trip would have cost me next to nothing, I strongly considered staying home upon seeing the Prius. Chicago’s appeal, for me at least, is the vast selection of hearty Polish, German, and Italian-influenced foods, especially the hard-to-duplicate Italian beef sandwich.

Conceived nearly a century ago as a portable, cheap, paper-wrapped lunch for working men in the city, the beef sandwich is a dense, thick loaf with peppers and slow-cooked beef piled high. The thinly sliced beef spends the day simmering in its own juices, heavily seasoned and spiced with hot or sweet peppers on top. I order mine extra wet which means the whole sandwich, bread and all, is grabbed with tongs and dunked into the au jus. Done properly, the end result is so wet and gloppy it has to be eaten with a fork.

I have been unable to find a proper Italian beef outside of Chicago. The “Chicago-style” eateries here in St Louis under season their beef and lightly spoon the juices over the sandwich rather than dunking the whole thing. Worse, they serve it by default with cheese! The result is a characterless lump of beef on a piece of dry bread, the kind of sandwich a Prius owner might enjoy.

Admittedly, it’s ugly. It looks like someone picked pieces of fallen roast beef off a wet kitchen floor and threw it on a roll, but anyone who eats exclusively with their eyes is a miserable jackass. Some of the world’s most pleasing dishes can take on the appearance of dumpster slurry — look at chili, for example, which looks like diarrhea. The Hawaiian squid dish pictured below looks like vomit, but the taste and texture are similar to a curry:

Perhaps Americans deserve nothing but bland, fried food.

The point is, the taste of the Chicago Italian beef sandwich is so appealing (I’ve taken food-inspired train trips before), I thought I’d be willing to endure 10 hours in a Prius.

But I was very wrong.

Inside the third-generation Prius, the driver is greeted with a display that looks similar to what you may find on a high-end kitchen oven. When you run your fingers over the steering wheel buttons, they pop up on the screen to help guide your fingers.

“READY” is continuously displayed in the lower left, like a command prompt from a Commodore 64. What it means or indicates is beyond me.

Below are two thin vents and a consumption display that can be switched to show radio or call information. Unfortunately, text is a bit blurry due to the LCD’s poor resolution. Brightness and contrast are lacking as well.

Audio quality from the Denso head unit and factory speakers is nothing remarkable and there were some Bluetooth dropout issues with the iPhone 5. The base audio systems in the Rav 4 and Camry are vastly superior, though this is a noticeable step up from the Corolla.

As a friend of mine commented on Facebook, “The last thing I want to do when I’m driving is stare at a bar graph.”

Near the bottom is an automatic climate control display with a green backlight [that doesn’t match anything else in the interior] and an electronic shift nub with R, N, D, B, and a separate button to the upper left for Park. “B” mode is an engine braking simulator that allows the Prius to coast down steep inclines without cooking the brakes.

The air conditioning was pathetic, just enough to defog the windows but not enough to make the cabin comfortable. It was nice, however, to keep the AC on while napping at a rest area. In Park, the engine comes on only as needed to keep the battery charged, functioning as a generator, allowing the car to mostly sit in silence while we dozed off.

The dashboard is long, reminiscent of a Dodge Intrepid, and passenger space is quite reasonable for a small car. There’s plenty of head room, generous rear leg room, and plenty of cargo space behind the rear hatch. Unfortunately, there’s little width for the front passenger’s knees. I found myself uncomfortably resting my legs against the hard and intrusive center console and passenger door arm rest.

The awkwardly shaped four-spoke steering wheel doesn’t provide a place to comfortably rest the hands while cruising but the triangular glass window at the bottom of the A-pillar makes the cabin feel more spacious and open.

The hard plastic surfaces are textured to mimic brushed aluminum, a strange choice for black plastic that looks nothing like metal. Otherwise, most of the interior design flaws are superficial, expected for what looks and feels like a cheap but sensible car inside and out.

On the highway, the Prius’s 134 horsepower hybrid powertrain struggled to keep up with traffic. It requires a lazy 9.8 seconds to reach 60 mph, a touch slower than a 1998 Ford Expedition. Passing requires lots of space and advance planning, otherwise you may be see the high beam flashes of unhappy left lane motorists. In tight situations, the Prius’s 60-80 mph acceleration borders on being dangerous.

At speeds in excess of 55 mph it flaps around in the wind like a sail. This particular example, at just 5700 miles, has a strong tendency to pull to the right.

Thankfully, due to repositioned sound deadening, Yokohama Avid S33D tires, and aerodynamic tweaks, the third-gen Prius is unexpectedly quiet at high speeds. Ride comfort is acceptable too, gliding over highway undulations and taking most of the harshness out of urban potholes, of which the Chicago area has many.

So far, the Prius seems like a standard economy car with the potential advantage of 50 mpg combined, a nice step up from the Corolla which promises 29 mpg. Unfortunately, the Prius comes with a price premium of $8000 over the Corolla, an amount that will take seven years of driving to compensate for through fuel savings. Of course, if gas prices continue to soar past $5 per gallon, the price premium will be recovered in nearly half the time.

For Californians already paying $4.95 per gallon (as of 5 May 2013) this is an enticing proposition, especially for buyers with good credit who qualify for low interest rates.

I’ve managed to bore myself. Let’s move on.

When we left St Louis at noon I was still up from the night before and ready to crawl into bed. I figured I’d sleep in the car and wake up 5-6 hours later in Chicago for dinner.

Bad idea. The ride comfort was fine but the seats, combined with the narrow knee space, were torturous, the kind of hell they might put terror suspects through at Guantanamo. The sharply angled, hard head rest made it impossible to position my skull properly while the lumpy, poorly shaped, and exceedingly firm seats made it impossible to position my back in a reasonable way. As a result, I had to scoot my butt forward to get my head to slip just under the head rest, putting excess pressure on my lower back.

Every 5-10 minutes I’d wake up, never falling asleep deeply enough to recharge and unable to stay awake to avoid dozing off. It was pure hell.

Even while seated in a normal, upright position, the lumpy back rest and total lack of thigh support made the Prius a painful place to be for a long-distance trip. This level of seating discomfort is entirely unnecessary, avoidable, and easily remedied with proper contouring. Extra foam and stuffing are unnecessary if the shape is ergonomically correct.

This misery could have been avoided with almost any other rental car. The $40 saved in fuel over 700 miles was hardly worth it.

Consider also that once you achieve 30 mpg, fuel economy gains beyond that have a much smaller impact on savings. Going from 30 to 40mpg you aren’t saving as much money on fuel as going from 20 to 30.

–At 12,000 miles per year at 20 mpg assuming $4/gallon, you’re spending $2400.
–At 12,000 miles per year at 30 mpg assuming $4/gallon, you’re spending $1600, saving $800 per year over the 20mpg alternative.
–At 12,000 miles per year at 40 mpg assuming $4/gallon, you’re spending $1200, saving $400 per year over the 30mpg alternative.
–At 12,000 miles per year at 50 mpg assuming $4/gallon, you’re spending $960, saving $240 per year over the 40mpg alternative.

Savings diminish as you go up the scale, but in your head 40mpg sounds like “whoa thats a lot” when it’s not so dramatic compared to the 30 mpg achieved by today’s typical midsize and economy cars. You’re giving up a lot in comfort, fun, and performance just to save a few coins.

That’s the Prius’s biggest problem: as standard automobiles improve dramatically, the Prius’s one advantage, fuel economy, becomes a tough sell.

PROS:
Cargo space
Rear seat room
Fuel economy
Ride
Noise levels
Resale value

CONS:
Initial cost
Steering
Handling
Styling
High-speed stability
Acceleration
Seating comfort

CONCLUSION:
Sacrifice a few miles per gallon and get a better car.

YOKOHAMA, 4/14/2013 — Today, Nissan-Renault CEO Carlos Ghosn announced that the successor to the 370Z sports car will be a crossover vehicle with a hybrid engine and a CVT transmission.

At a press conference in Japan, Ghosn responded to harsh questions from the motoring press with a single statement:
“We believe that there is room in the Z’s lustrous heritage for a CUV. While performance purists may object to change, we believe the market is calling for more crossovers, especially from professional women who work in Human Resources and like to sit up high while listening to Jack Johnson.“

To bolster the Z’s popularity among female buyers, Nissan will be partnering with Coach and Fiji, offering special editions which will feature chrome Coach and Fiji trunklid badges, customizable purse holders for Coach bags, and chilled rectangular cupholders designed specifically to fit Fiji’s uniquely shaped artisan water bottles.

Additionally, the redesigned Z will include three-row seating for seven passengers, addressing a marketing problem where sports cars are frequently traded in for minivans and SUVs when she decides she’s ready to breed.

The 2014 Z will also be the first Nissan product to offer Twitter text-to-speech support so she can listen to the latest updates from the cast of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” while her dumb ass occupies the left lane at 55mph.

Sources have hinted that the automotive publication “Motor Trend” may be crowning the new Z its “2014 Car of the Year,” coincidentally just after a major print advertising purchase arranged by Nissan’s lead ad agency, TBWA/Chiat/Day.

Cadillac’s CUE touch screen multimedia system, for whatever reason, isn’t fully adaptable to some foreign markets including Japan, forcing navigation functions to be relegated to a Panasonic device attached to the top of the dash board. The worst part, aside from the “I just got a Sony Discman for my 1992 Corolla” aesthetics, is that it covers the center channel speaker.

Other CUE functions, fortunately, still work normally.

If Cadillac wants to become a serious global brand, they have to try harder.

Source: GMI

You can hardly blame us — manufacturers promised improvements in handling and driving dynamics by replacing masculine body-on-frame truck-based SUVs with tall, car-based unibody wagons. Instead, most manufacturers have chosen to turn them into three-row rolling marshmallows, numb in every regard and entirely dull to look at or be in.

That’s great for the 30-something mother carting her kids to school with Michael Fucking Buble in the CD changer, but for the rest of us it marks the end of a time when owning an SUV meant you were a go-anywhere, do-anything, active and outdoorsy kind of guy. It has become, like the Toyota Camry, a symbol of tied-down, predictable existence, a march to retirement marked with routine and repetition.

But there’s a slight glimmer of hope from an unlikely hero.

I picked up this unremarkably styled Hyundai at an auto auction back in December. Yes, a Hyundai. Hear me out.

We put a bid on it and I brought it back to our dealership on a rainy New Years Eve. My first impressions were neutral at best, casting it aside as a soulless appliance of suburban existence, little more than an extension of a woman’s purse. All I cared about was the profit potential and the large (and rapidly growing) market for these trendy diaper-carriers. As a dealer, I had to set aside my emotions and pretend to be one of the unwashed masses, making loathsome compromises to fulfill transportation needs.

I couldn’t make a serious living selling nothing but Miatas and vintage BMWs.

But over time, especially as the snow fell, the Hyundai took the place of my classic Saab 900 as a daily driver. Over that that same period of time, during which I accumulated 1,000 miles (odometer currently reads 102k), my opinion on the lowly Santa Fe changed dramatically.

Climbing inside, which requires a slight climb for me at 5’10”, the light beige cabin welcomes with a tasteful mix of aluminum trim, fake plastic wood stretching from ear to ear, and cool blue LCD displays that glow like a Timex watch. Bright LEDs adorn the knobs and buttons which are clearly labeled and ergonomically sensible. Except for the heated seat buttons which are mounted a bit low on the center stack and the fog light/AWD Lock buttons on the lower left, everything is within easy reach.

In the back there’s plenty of room for three real adults across the supportive cloth bench seat. This generation of Santa Fe has been upsized to compete with the Highlander and Pilot rather than the Escape and CRV, offering enough width and height to create an airy atmosphere without being as ponderously huge as the GMC Acadia, though the Acadia’s interior is easily the largest on the market.

As an SE model, this comes equipped with a rear DVD player that includes a drop-down LCD monitor, remote control, and a pair of padded infrared headphones, just like the competing Lexus RX. Thankfully, the original owner decided against a third row seat which, aside from toddlers and small children, wouldn’t have been tremendously useful. Instead, there’s a massive cargo area with extra storage below a lid that stays propped open for tall items.

Unless you have a large family with lots of toddlers, you’ll find the hidden cargo compartment to be more useful than the third row.

Owing to Hyundai’s extensive market research, they picked up on America’s love for tailgating and equipped the rear cargo area with a 115-volt wall outlet, perfect for a portable griddle or small fridge. An on/off switch in the front center console controls the outlet.

There’s also an auto-dimming rear view mirror with an electronic compass, a leather-wrapped steering wheel with audio and speed controls, power seats, and a transmission that allows for selective manual operation. Not a bad list of features for a low-cost soft-roader.

The SE and Limited versions also come with a Borg Warner-sourced all wheel drive system that sends power to the rear wheels when slip is detected. Combined with stability control, it’s quite capable in snow and sand, though it isn’t quite as talented as Subaru’s symmetrical all wheel drive. An “AWD Lock” button is supposed to help when you’re stuck in the deepest of the deep, forcing 50% of available torque to the rear at all times, otherwise in routine snow driving I find it best to leave everything in its default setting.

Fast Tube by Casper

If you need to drive to a ski resort or a cabin in the woods, the Hyundai will perform adequately, but for recreational off-roading, a traditional SUV like a Jeep Wrangler is ideal.

All of this is par for the course for 2007 — features we once called luxuries have now become low-cost mainstream options. The only items lacking are leather (available) and automatic climate control. A Lexus RX will also have additional soft-touch luxury surfaces and nicer materials though the Santa Fe’s harder plastics are equally well-assembled and rattle-free.

What truly sets the Santa Fe apart from the competition is the unexpectedly silky 3.3L 242-horsepower V6 engine that spins like a whisk through country gravy, tucked behind a well-insulated firewall. Throttle response off the line is instant, excitingly so, with electric-like torque that slings this bubble-shaped kid-carrier to 60mph in just over 8 seconds.

That doesn’t sound particularly quick when Toyota Camrys can do the same in 5.7 seconds, but it feels gutsy with plenty of passing power as the speedo needle rapidly approaches 100mph.

The sublime and responsive five-speed automatic deserves just as much credit, reacting instantly to right-foot requests without drawing attention to itself. Shifts are quick, seamless, and pleasingly undramatic. While the manumatic feature is nice, I’ve never found it necessary as the transmission computer seems directly linked to the primary cortex of my brain.

Four-wheel ABS disc brakes are more than capable of keeping up with the V6’s brisk acceleration, though the pedal requires a bit of a heavier foot, similar to some European sport sedans and hatchbacks, allowing for more accurate modulation and a greater sense of control.

The leather-wrapped steering wheel provides lively communication, sending the road surface directly to the fingertips. While talkative steering creates a sense of control during spirited driving, it also improves safety by letting the driver know intimately about the wetness, slickness, or roughness of the road surface below. The excessively isolated feeling of numbness that has become so commonplace in crossover vehicles is refreshingly absent here.

All of this makes for a surprisingly fun to drive wagon that inspires confidence behind the wheel. Unfortunately, most CUV owners will want and expect more sensitive brakes and a softer ride. The Santa Fe, this one equipped with a fresh set of Pirellis, is also on the firm side of ride comfort and does not hesitate to transmit expansion joints and surface imperfections into the cabin. Some would call that unrefined while I welcome the idea of a tall wagon that doesn’t drive like a jacked-up coffin.

In all, the Santa Fe desperately wants to be a Lexus but thankfully drives nothing like one. The Consumer Reports crowd may take offense to its sporty handling, quick steering, and firm ride while I consider it an affordable breath of fresh air.

If you’re tired of the average, soulless, multipurpose people mover, put this on your list alongside the Mazda CX.

Tapping into Eminem’s catalog aligned the brand with themes of rebirth while the latest ad connects the Chrysler 300 to the city’s glamorous musical heritage:

Fast Tube by Casper

Cynics such as myself would note that in the recent past, GM, Ford, and Chrysler have used and abused images of post-war prosperity and less than subtle “We are America!” declarations to hawk steaming turds to the public, trading on their past achievements and using nostalgia to guilt customers into products with quality issues and lackluster designs.

I can say with confidence, however, especially after driving the 2012 Chrysler 300 for myself, that this ambitious advertisement is no shallow gimmick. With its silky 3.6L Pentastar V6, plush leather seats, 8-speed transmission, confident handling, and distinctly sculpted sheet metal, it achieves many of the lofty promises of its emotional marketing. Additionally, a 470-horsepower 6.4L V8 is available to muscle enthusiasts while the standard 300-horsepower 8-speed/V6 combo is capable of 31mpg, impressive economy for such a large sedan.

The new 300’s interior, additionally, is a significant improvement from the previous car, abandoning a stark and plasticky interior for one with gracefully curved panels, elegant glacier blue lighting, and trim pieces made of real metal. Completing the package is UConnect, a refreshingly logical and straightforward touch screen infotainment system that complements natural buttons and knobs rather than replacing them.

It’s quite a change for a company that suffocated after nearly a decade of German mismanagement at the hands of Daimler-Benz.

Tough it may be dangerously ambitious to compare a mass-market sedan to the haunting timbre of Diana Ross’s voice and the artistic accomplishments of Motown Records, it’s nice to be reminded of what American creativity and hard work can accomplish. This is what good advertising does — it tells a story with emotion and sincerity.

Fast Tube by Casper

I climbed behind the wheel of a 2009 Audi Q7 V8, the worst-built modern automobile I have ever had the misfortune of driving. At 66,000 miles, the arm rests, door panels, and dashboard creaked like the shutters of a 100 year old abandoned house.

The center arm rest wobbled back and forth while providing audible feedback in the form of squeaks, groans, and rattles. Pulling the handle to shut the door produced yet another creaking noise, and leaning back or side to side in the seat produced yet another series of cheap, plasticky sounds.

The buttons on the MMI knob, radio, and climate controls felt chintzy and hollow while the Bang and Olufsen premium sound system paled in comparison to the HK Logic7 system used in most Land Rovers, Mercedes-Benzes, and BMWs. There was plenty of bass and plenty of treble yet none of it was pleasing to listen to. The motorized tweeters that rise up from the dashboard are a neat little trick, however.

Additionally, the MMI knob moves up the list of menu items when you rotate right and down the menu when you rotate left, a frustrating configuration that’s unnatural and opposite of other luxury cars that use similar interfaces. The display itself comes across as cheap and unsophisticated with large pixels and jagged text.

Rolling down the road, it rattled furiously like a sack full of Lego pieces. It was noisy enough to prompt me to ask my friend if he noticed any loose cargo in the rear. After pulling over to check, there was nothing found and the rear hatch door, once fully opened, wobbled like a table with uneven feet.

On the plus side, the 350-horsepower 4.2L V8 developed a high-pitched, racy roar at full throttle complemented by strong and responsive brakes. The third row seats are easy to fold down by pulling one strap to fold the head rest and one latch to drop the seat. Of course, the power folding third rows in the Lincoln Navigator and Infiniti QX56 are preferred.

Pros: Engine, brakes, and styling.
Cons: Deplorable build quality.
Conclusion: Anyone who paid $60,000+ for a new Q7 was ripped off. Badly.

Traditionally, men and women who make their living from the auto business have favored Republicans. Though it was Republican Richard Nixon who created the EPA, Democrats in congress and in the media have often pointed fingers at America’s big three for failing to be more like Honda and Toyota, building trucks and SUVs instead of politically correct hybrids.

Of course, this criticism ignores the fact that Toyota, Honda, and Nissan build and sell the Tundra, Ridgeline, and Titan in America, respectively, which failed to achieve projected sales due to stiff competition from Chrysler, Ford, and GM. Additionally, the Japanese have expanded far into the SUV market with highly competent three-row behemoths like the Infiniti QX56 and the Toyota Sequoia, not to mention the long-running and globally popular Toyota Land Cruiser and Lexus LX.

While Japan should be commended for building quality trucks and SUVs that suit American tastes, it certainly makes them no less culpable for the politically incorrect “crime” of building large, comfortable, and safe multipurpose trucks.

Liberal journalists like Michelle Maynard blamed Detroit’s predicament on its product mix rather than multiple generations of burdensome legacy costs. Foreign-owned auto plants that have opened in the US, particularly in the south, are immune to the lure of the UAW, with employees preferring to deal directly with management. After witnessing the decline of their domestic competitors at the hands of overly aggressive union leaders, who could blame them?

Today, Democrats who praise the president for saving Detroit are part of the same crowd who called for the downfall of America’s “filthy” auto industry just a decade earlier. I have a hard time believing that the Prius-driving schmucks sporting Obama/Biden stickers were as supportive of Michigan as they claim to be now. Before 2008, they smugly referred to the industrial midwest as “flyover states.”

These are the people who regulated, strangled, and berated Detroit into a corner and now claim full credit for its rescue. It’s like dating someone who beats the shit out of you but pitches in for your cable bill.

Not all Democrats are alike, obviously, and surprisingly, President Jimmy Carter was an exception to the norm, delaying increases in safety and emission regulations to help Detroit catch up to the fuel crisis… the crisis caused in part by America’s expansive foreign policy.

Of course, Detroit does indeed deserve its own share of blame. The relentless focus on light trucks came at the expense of car development, catching them off guard as fuel prices suddenly rose. Part of this was due to the CAFE loophole that counted the fuel consumption of light trucks separately from cars, enabling manufacturers to build trucks that were more in line with full size sedans and wagons that Americans traditionally preferred, but with the addition of all-weather capability and a commanding driving position.

The 1995 Chevy Caprice Wagon was capable of 23mpg while the 1995 Ford Explorer 4×4 was good for 18mpg at most. Additionally, the Caprice was capable of carrying eight passengers compared to the Explorer’s five and offered greater cargo capacity. Unfortunately due to CAFE regulations and the resulting emergence of the profitable SUV, low demand for large cars sent GM’s full-size offerings to the history books.

The policies we trusted had a detrimental, unexpected effect.

Republicans are culpable as well. Though Mitt Romney was opposed to the sweetheart deal that the UAW received during the Obama administration’s bailouts of Chrysler and GM, he was still open to providing government assistance after a normal, managed bankruptcy was completed. So much for conservatives being advocates of free markets.

Most significantly, however, is the way car guys tend to have an independent streak. Driving, owning, and maintaining your own vehicle is like having a pair of running legs. Car guys prefer to have the ability to stand up and run around on their own than wait on a corner for the government to pick them up and cart them around.

For the most dedicated auto enthusiasts, the automobile is more than a means of conveyance. It’s hands, heart, and soul, a part of who you are and how you assert yourself to the world. As a result, their politics tend to be similarly aligned, favoring free markets, small government, and a country that values individualism and independence.

For proof of this, look at the data provided by OpenSecrets.org. Of the nearly three million dollars donated to campaigns by people in the auto industry or related PACs, 85% went to Mitt Romney. Most of Romney’s support has been from car dealers, some of whom believe President Obama closed dealerships with strong Republican ties. Though that wasn’t explicitly true, more rural dealers than necessary were closed, reducing a steady base that GM and Chrysler had in markets that were mostly untouched by foreign competitors.

Despite clear allegiances among motoring enthusiasts, not all gearheads are alike. I will be voting for Gary Johnson on Tuesday, November 6, here in Missouri.

During our time there, we rented a Volkswagen Passat and two Ford Fusions, driving up and down the west and southwest on a search for new and classic cars. A month earlier, I traveled to Long Beach for the 2012 Japanese Classic Car Show where I rented a 2012 Chevy Malibu.

Leaving Lambert Field in St Louis, MO.

“Southwest Classic” is code for “really old plane, good luck.”

Upon landing in Phoenix, my friend Becky picked us up and took us to Surprise AZ where she and her husband Greg, owner/founder of NICOClub.com, generously hosted us at their home for two days while we did some car shopping. They generously put up with my snoring, treated us to delightful southern cooking, and offered their Nissan Frontier and Honda Insight so we could get around town.

After passing on a 2008 Mercedes CL (repaint) and a maroon S-class (unpleasant salesman), we decided to rent a car and drive to Las Vegas to enjoy some entertainment and continue our car shopping. We booked online with Alamo and picked up a beautiful white Volkswagen Passat at the Phoenix airport.

3rd Place: 2012 Volkswagen Passat

When we first sat down in the Passat (Alamo lets you pick your own car from the lot), my friend Ian actually thought it was a Jetta. I wasn’t sure I believed him because I remembered the new Jetta having a small back seat and a particularly cheap interior, and the car we were sitting in felt slightly upscale and pleasantly well made.

He dropped me outside of Sky Harbor’s rental complex where I parked the truck and as he drove off, I saw the Passat badge. I knew I was right. In fairness, Passat and Jetta do appear quite similar.

This year (2012), the Passat is all new for the United States. In 2011, Europeans received the real successor to the Passat while here in the states, we received a different car by the same name, built in Tennessee and $8000 cheaper than its predecessor. This larger, cheaper version is also built and sold in China and South Korea.

Due to the declining value of the US dollar against the Euro, the old Passat was priced thousands of dollars more than its competition. A well-optioned 4-cylinder Honda Accord could be had for thousands of dollars less than a similarly equipped base model Passat, forcing the Volkswagen brand into a small niche, never achieving more than a 2% share of the US market.

As a somewhat premium brand (a status mandated by pricing), Volkswagen had difficulty expanding beyond its core audience of cute college girls in Jettas and individualists who flocked to the expressive New Beetle. You could think of Volkswagen as Apple right before Steve Jobs returned, building costly, polished products that lacked mass market appeal.

After years of lackluster sales, Volkswagen altered its US strategy, building a new plant in Chattanooga which introduced a new Jetta and Passat, cheaper, larger, and softer models tailored for the US market.

The result was similar to what happened when Apple introduced the stylish, bargain-priced iMac in 1998. VW’s premium image became available to the masses at non-premium prices with customers flocking to showrooms, quadrupling in sales volume over outgoing models.

Most of the dramatic price cut is due to US production, avoiding costly US-EU currency conversions while employing non-union American workers. Other savings were achieved by downgrading the interior, replacing some of the outgoing Passat’s premium soft-touch surfaces with hard plastics.

Still, the cabin presents itself as an upscale-leaning motoring environment with beautiful LED lighting and luxurious knobs, switches, and displays. The tasteful colors, lights, and fonts used throughout the cabin suggest Audi more than Volkswagen, and even parked alongside an Audi A6 it would take a brief moment to tell the two cars apart.

Easily, the new Passat’s interior and exterior are the most upscale-reaching of midsize family cars.

The Passat grows in size with a limousine-like back seat that draws comparisons to larger cars like the Chevy Impala, Chrysler 300, and Ford Taurus. Thanks to the its traditional three-box sedan shape, a six-footer can sprawl out in the back seat without feeling like a fat guy flying coach.

With cloth seats, satellite radio, a 170hp 2.5L I5 engine, and 6-speed automatic, the 2012 Passat we rented from Alamo would have retailed for just under $23,000, undercutting the CVT-equipped Honda Accord by $400. What we have, then, is a plus-sized car with a semi-premium interior at a bargain-basement price, and Americans love bargains, especially when it comes to size.

Though I commend the build quality of the Passat with its elegant lighting, durable switchgear, and precisely installed interior and exterior panels, I did find one defect. A wire was hanging down from underneath the climate control unit.

Though this minor flaw was fairly insignificant, over time I can see the edge of the plastic housing cutting slowly into the wire insulation.

This was, as far as I could tell, the only apparent defect. The Passat’s other flaws were design-related, especially the narrow front seat seat bottoms which proved to be terribly uncomfortable. For the passenger sitting directly forward it was fine, but for the driver with his left foot planted on the dead pedal, you had to cross your leg over the large side bolster of the bottom cushion, resulting in a sleepy foot and numb thigh after an hour of driving.

For all of Volkswagen’s bragging about the Passat being right-sized for America, this narrow chair was a rather unfortunate oversight.

Additionally, the Passat’s driving dynamics were nothing special. The aging 2.5L inline-5 wheezes about like a tired old dog, exhibiting little eagerness as it lazily climbed the rev range. The automatic transmission performed its duties in the hilly parts of rural Arizona and Nevada admirably, downshifting on command and responding well to changing elevations, but around town it was too eager to upshift, killing the fun of stoplight launches.

The overly eager upshifting, fortunately, does translate into respectable fuel economy, 31.9 “instant mpg” on the highway and 26 mpg calculated by hand for the entire tank.

And although the steering had a weighty, substantive feel at low speeds, it was slightly vague on the highway with a numb on-center feel, not mushy but noticeably imprecise.

The front-strut, multilink rear suspension was pleasingly supple around the city streets of Phoenix and Las Vegas but painfully sloppy around corners, leaning over on its rocker panels like a Chevy Impala. It seemed as if the Passat wanted to be a firm, sporty sedan, but VW’s engineers chose to separate the car from the pavement with a pile of marshmallows.

In Las Vegas we headed south on Frank Sinatra Dr (pictured above and below), approaching a left turn hook that a Fusion, Malibu, or any other standard car would be able to handle gracefully. The Passat leaned hard to the right, tires squealing like pigs in a burning barn, and plowed into the right lane before I hit the mushy brake pedal and regained control. This was clearly not a driver’s car.

The rental-grade 2012 Chevy Impala, unfortunately, is what the 2.5L Passat’s driving dynamics compare to, except the Impala at least has GM’s excellent 3.6L V6. If you’re into floaty, old-tech cars with wheezy engines and sloppy brakes, consider the Passat your slightly roomier, more upscale alternative. Otherwise, I expect more from something that carries a VW badge. This stylish car is a better place to sleep than it is to drive.

While in Vegas, we took a look at another S-class (price wasn’t right) and I met up with a friend from Washington who flew in with his wife and some friends to celebrate his birthday — an outstanding coincidence.

After an outstanding weekend in Las Vegas, including a David Copperfield show, the bland Passat was quickly forgotten.

Second Place: 2012 Ford Fusion

We returned to Phoenix from Las Vegas and changed rental companies to lock in a lower rate, choosing a smaller firm called Fox Rentacar. Unfortunately, the trade-off is that their fleet is older and with that age comes a few minor issues.

Like Alamo, you’re free to choose any vehicle in a given class. At first, I wanted to take a black Mazda 6 (pictured above, left) to California but it lacked satellite radio which Ian insisted on. As a result, we ended up in a silver Fusion.

(A Dodge Avenger was also available, but who wants to suffer on a vacation?)

I have always been a fan of both the Mazda 6 and Ford Fusion, two dynamically excellent cars built on the same platform that are more fun to drive than the average family car. Compared to the stodgy Taurus, the sharply-styled Fusion was a breath of fresh air.

The Fusion’s angular styling draws minor comparisons to the edgy Cadillac CTS and ten-spoke wheels on our SEL look as if they were pulled from a Mustang GT. On the other hand, some see the three-bar chrome grille as a mass of reflective metal that draws its inspiration from Gillette razors.

Twin tail pipes are nicely finished in chrome, tucked underneath a rear bumper cover that turns upward at the bottom for cleaner aerodynamics.

Up front there’s plenty of room for two large Americans. I immediately took notice of the white contrast stitching on the leather seats and arm rest, completely unnecessary but tremendously pleasing design details that give the midsize Ford an upscale look and feel.

Even the door panels were thickly padded on the sides and arm rests with the only hard plastics found at the far bottom and far front sections, a nice upgrade over the Passat which had a larger quantity of hard surfaces.

The compromise, unfortunately, is in the rear. The Fusion’s platform is adapted from the Japanese and Euro-centric Mazda 6 which lends it a smaller wheelbase than the made-for-America Volkswagen Passat. Rear passengers will encounter a shorter, lower seat cushion with noticeably less leg room. Still, it compares reasonably well to the Accord, Camry, and Malibu and a parent should have no trouble dealing with a rear child seat in the space available.

Additionally, the narrower cabin offers less room to stretch out with the driver’s knees resting up against the unusually wide center stack. And that center stack is a ridiculous mess of buttons, buttons, and more buttons.

Traditionally, Fords have offered some of the simplest and most logical fan, radio, and climate controls with three sets of knobs for the fan, vent flaps, and temperature and two knobs for the volume and tuner. Unfortunately, in the Fusion, the fan knob is replaced by up and down buttons while the ventilation flaps are controlled by an array of tiny buttons crammed into the bottom of the stack. We never really got used to it as it required your eyes to be removed from the road as you peered over the little icons.

Ford also had a tradition of presenting information in the plainest, most logical way possible with adequately lit needles and gauges marked with plain sans-serif fonts that quietly said “Peoria.”

The Fusion, however, abandons decades of functional simplicity in favor of garish cyan blue lighting that draws its inspiration from video games. If this was Ford’s way of making up for the stodgy, boring gauge clusters found in the Taurus and Explorer, then they went overboard. It’s as if Nicki Minaj was tapped for design inspiration.

Fortunately, those shortcomings are made up for by Sync, a brilliant method of combining in-car audio with the modern capabilities of smartphones. Bluetooth pairing with the iPhone 5 is quick and painless with clear call quality and reasonably accurate voice recognition, though some artists could not be interpreted by voice.

Satellite radio functionality was a bit confusing, using both the tuning knob and the four-way seek button in the center. Fortunately, the electroluminescent display was easy to read with large, well-arranged text. The far left displays the current climate control setting and compass position while the far right shows the outdoor temperature. The top line is used for the climate, connectivity modes, and source displays.

You can call up genres, artists, or song titles by voice in English, French, or Spanish. More advanced versions of SYNC support navigation, SMS reading, voice dialing, and custom ringtones.

Most importantly, music sounds incredible with thunderous, trench-deep bass and highs that glisten and sparkle with impressive clarity. It’s almost enough to make up for this car’s greatest flaw, the obnoxious MyKey system.

In theory, MyKey is the ultimate implementation of vehicle safety and security, preventing valet drivers from going on triple-digit joyrides and keeping teenagers within normal highway speed limits. Unfortunately, MyKey is seldom configured correctly in most rental fleets, resulting in electronic speed limiters (75 mph in our case) that make it dangerous to pass slow-moving vehicles and get out of dangerous highway traffic situations.

As we approached 75 mph, the Fusion beeped and ceased to accelerate no matter how hard we pressed the throttle. This obnoxious feature was not necessarily enabled by Fox Rentacar. Any user with one of the master keys can play with the configuration menu and turn the master key into a slave key, enabling the speed limiter in the process. The only solution is to use the other master key (which we didn’t have on hand) to override the setting.

As we traveled up the California coast I did my best to look for solutions. People suggested disconnecting the battery and pulling fuses but I learned that the setting was stored in the PCM and could not be bypassed without the master key.

In retrospect that worked out fine since we discovered an obnoxious wheel bearing vibration and low speeds were probably safer anyway. After being on hold with Fox for an eternity we decided to put up with the problem until we got back to Phoenix.

We stopped in Lompoc, California and stayed at a Days Inn for a few days while we waited for the paperwork for a BMW 7-series to go through. To my surprise, the BMW was quite bland, not only to look at but to drive as well.

The coast, however, was strikingly beautiful. We checked out the beach which featured a coastal Amtrak station.

At the last minute, Ian changed his mind on the car and we left town. On the way back, his business partner called and asked him to look at a couple BMW 2002s. That’s when we met up with the founder of Socal Vintage BMW and took a 1974 2002 for a spin. More on that later.

One additional annoyance was the visor peg that mounted from the front rather than the rear. Whenever I tried to reinsert the visor peg I found myself banging it on the back of the hook until I noticed my error. Why such a simple, obviously thing designed this way is beyond me.

Welcome to California, the only state that stops you upon entry and asks if you have any fruit.

As night fell the Fusion’s cabin turned into a night club (a night club that played Phil Collins). Around the front and back of the interior, an option on the SEL, were LED lights that illuminated the foot wells and cupholders.

A decade ago I remembered someone I knew putting LED lounge lights in his Mitsubishi Eclipse, a trendy thing to do among the ricer crowd. Apparently Ford caught on and took it mainstream.

I’ve never seen pretzels and Diet Coke illuminated in such a vulgar, boorish way. Fortunately, we discovered that a button on the very bottom of the crammed center stack (labeled with an inexplicable sun and moon icon) allowed the illumination to be changed to other colors or disabled entirely. I chose a much less obnoxious shade of dark blue that provided a sufficient level of light without making the inside of the car look like Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club.

While the Passat was at times painfully conservative, the Fusion was conversely obnoxious, trying its best to be edgy by laying it on thick with superficial bullshit.

That said, as a car, and by a car I mean a breathing, mechanical machine that responds to human input, the Ford Fusion is an outstanding way to travel, genuine fun to throw around corners and quick to respond to steering inputs, not to mention superbly comfortable on long-trips whether it’s on flat, wide interstates or winding narrow roads.

The Fusion’s double-wishbone front suspension works wonders, tucking and digging in to tight corners while offering a smooth and compliant ride on all kinds of surfaces. All of this is motoring pleasure is expected for a car that traces its lineage to excellent drivers like the Mazda 6, Mazda 626, Mazda MX-6, and Ford Probe.

Averaging 30.8 mpg on our trip to California was yet another delightful bonus.

Unfortunately, where the Fusion falls short is in the implementation of the 6F35 6-speed automatic, mated to the I4 and 3.0L V6 starting in 2010. A combination of mechanical and software issues have resulted in occasionally lumpy or harsh shifts.

Fast Tube by Casper

The contrast-stitched leather, brilliant sound system, clever SYNC interface, comfortable seats, high crash test ratings, excellent visibility, and sharp styling are all icing on one hell of a cake, but the transmission issues on certain 2010-2012 models make it hard to recommend the certain versions of the Fusion.

If you want one, find a 3.5L V6 with the Aisin TF-80 6-speed automatic instead of the 3.0L or 2.5L with Ford’s 6F35. In addition to being more dependable, the 3.5L Fusion is quicker to 60 mph (under 7 seconds) and more powerful.

We gave the Fusion another chance after we left California and returned to Phoenix, picking up a less-optioned model with fewer miles for a trip to Tucson AZ where where inspected a 1970s BMW 2002 (more on that later). It lacked SYNC, leather, automatic climate controls, selectable interior lighting, and heated seats but still offered satellite radio.

Thankfully, this one was not plagued by MyKey settings, transmission issues, or wheel bearing vibrations. Compared to the almost-loaded SEL, we also lost the leather-wrapped steering wheel and some padded interior surfaces.

We also lost the exterior temperature display, fake carbon fiber trim, and compass.

For me, the absence of those features was a positive. The manual climate controls were much easier to use, the selectable lighting in the SEL was ridiculous, and the lively steering and sharp handling remained in tact. It’s reassuring to know that after being stripped of its superfluous frivolities, the Fusion retains all of its style and driving enjoyment.

On the way to Tucson, to look at a 1976 BMW 2002, I dozed off in the passenger seat again, enjoying the Fusion’s compliant ride and thickly padded seats. More on the BMW later.

For 2013, the all new Fusion loses its double wishbone suspension in favor of more conventional Macpherson struts, though Ford insists that the new car is intended for drivers. It also gains more elegant styling and abandons the aging naturally aspirated Duratec engines in favor of Ford’s latest Ecoboost turbos. Technologically, the new Fusion ushers in a new era of efficiency and design. Dynamically, I hope Ford hasn’t abandoned driving fun in favor of total refinement.

First Place: 2012 Chevrolet Malibu

Introduced in 2008, this particular generation of Malibu was Chevy’s first fully competent and genuinely impressive family car to come along in several decades. I rented this car from Hertz on a separate trip I took to California earlier in the year, and you can read the full review with photos and detailed ratings here.

Compared to the 2012+ Passat and 2006-2012 Fusion, the Malibu looks more upscale with its thick C-pillar, German-influenced formal roofline, straight beltline, and muscular wheel arches. The body looks sculpted and strong without being fat, owing to its long wheelbase, long rear overhang, and narrow dimensions.

Unfortunately, the styling comes at the cost of ingress and egress, causing tall people to hit their heads on the roof and pillars when climbing in. The slightly narrow cabin also results in a tighter back seat in terms of width, but it makes up for it with generous leg room, straddling the difference between the Fusion and Passat without compromising on the depth and length of the rear seat cushion.

The new 2013 Malibu that replaces this car takes a different approach, shortening the back seat while widening it to appeal to a global audience. While that may be beneficial for the rare occasions you have three people sitting across the rear bench and may make parallel parking easier in, say, a British village, it makes the cabin feel more cramped and makes installing a child seat a bit more cumbersome.

Click the link below for a complete write-up on the 2012 Malibu, written last year.

2012 Malibu Complete Review

Conclusions and Ratings:

Interestingly, though the purpose of this trip was to buy a car, we ended up coming home in a 1991 Buick Riviera that I found on Craigslist in Phoenix. More on that later.

Powertrain:
Passat – 4/10 – The 2.5L 170hp I-5 that powers much of VW’s lineup is lazy, gutless, and unrewarding. The 6-speed transmission is reasonably responsive when called to action but too prone to upshifting in routine driving.
Fusion – 6/10 – Ford’s 3.0L Duratec V6, despite its age, is adequately powerful. Unfortunately, the homegrown 6F35 6-speed automatic is prone to odd behaviors.
Malibu – 8/10 – The 6T40 6-speed automatic transmission makes the best of GM’s 169-hp 2.4L Ecotec engine. Unlike its sibling, the Saturn Aura, the Malibu is often in the right gear, rarely hunting or searching. Shifts are pleasingly smooth but perceptible enough to offer a bit of feedback. Gearing is nearly perfect though the 2.4L Ecotec I-4 can be raspy at high revs.

Braking:
Passat – 4/10 – After shoving your foot through a mushy pedal, the car dives forward like an ocean liner.
Fusion – 9.5/10 – Sharp, steady, and athletic.
Malibu – 9/10 – Strong and progressive.

Ride:
Passat – 10/10 – The Passat rides as if it’s suspended in a bowl of thick white country gravy. Supple and steady on the highway.
Fusion – 9/10 – An excellent balance of sport and comfort, never harsh but pleasingly firm.
Malibu – 9/10 – Quietly sturdy in a way that brings to mind German sport sedans with a nice balance between American-style smoothness and European firmness.

Steering/Handling:
Passat – 4/10 – The soft suspension that lends the Passat a Rolls Royce-like ride also turns it into a queasy, sloppy handler even in city driving. Steering is also a bit numb on center.
Fusion – 9.5/10 – The Fusion was born for curves with quick steering and a firm but compliant ride. From a driver’s perspective, the Fusion feels like a lively Japanese sport sedan.
Malibu – 8.5/10 – While it may lack the on-paper handling prowess of a BMW, it offers the feel of a car that’s imported from Germany. Through sweeping curves and banked on-ramps, mild body roll serves as an indicator of grip rather than a symptom of queasiness. The steering could offer more feedback, something the Mazda 6 and Ford Fusion excel at.

Audio/Accessories:
Passat – 5/10 – For a near-base model, the 2.5L Passat comes equipped with a pleasing if not mind-blowing sound system with MP3 playback, auxiliary input, a clever multifunction digital display built into the gauge cluster, steering wheel controls, power mirrors, manual seats, and Bluetooth audio streaming. A Fender premium sound system is optional. A basic alarm still costs an additional $325, a strange omission. For the same price, the Honda Accord includes dual zone climate control, Pandora streaming, a backup camera, and an alarm among other features. Despite moving production to the US and dropping 8 grand off the price, the Passat still comes up short on features and options for the money.
Fusion – 9/10 – The Fusion SEL comes packed with everything but the kitchen sink and an unusually pleasant sound system. Unfortunately, climate and audio controls are sometimes difficult to use and the interior is a mess of poorly organized buttons. SYNC is a nice touch.
Malibu – 6.5/10 – When this review was initially written last year, the Malibu seemed well-equipped for 2012. Now, especially after reexamining the Fusion, the Malibu comes up short in connectivity, though this was remedied for 2013 when the debut of the new Malibu. The Malibu’s radio display looks a bit dated as well compared to the competition, even from a year ago. Fortunately, everything is easy to use and the standard GM radio is punchy, powerful, and bright, though it doesn’t match the Fusion’s glistening clarity. The 110-volt electrical outlet on the center console is a nice touch.

Interior:
Passat – 8/10 – Though it loses some soft-touch surfaces compared to the previous Passat, the elegant lighting and tasteful displays lend an upscale feel missing from the competition. The analog clock is a nice bonus.
Fusion – 5.5/10 – Fake carbon fiber trim, garish looking gauges, and cheesy interior lights come across as amateurish, as if the Fusion’s interior designers spent a day at Autozone pulling accessories off the shelf. While it is a comfortable place to sit, it isn’t so great to look at. The door panels and seats feature beautiful stitched leather and padded vinyl, so while the design is weak the quality is high.
Malibu – 7/10 – Showing its age, the Malibu doesn’t have as many soft-touch surfaces as its competitors, but what it lacks in softness it makes up for with lots of storage, faux-suede “ultralux” seating surfaces, and a dual-cowl configuration that creates a feeling of space between the front seats and the windshield. The bright wood trim that curves from door to door is an elegant touch. The back seat is a bit too dark and cave-like due to the thick C-pillar and high door sills, but the long and supportive seat bottoms help make the rear a comfortable place to be.

Comfort:
Passat – 7/10 – Narrow seat bottoms make road trips an uncomfortable burden. Rear leg room is limousine-like and sure to please back seat passengers. The driver’s seat gets a 4/10 while the rear earns a 10.
Fusion – 8/10 – Front seats are an ideal blend of comfort and sport though the back seat could use additional thigh support and leg room. The wide center console intrudes into leg room. I dozed off peacefully in the passenger seat for several hours.
Malibu – 8/10 – Front seats are well-bolstered with excellent thigh support. Adjustable lumbar on lower trim levels would be nice, but the default configuration is perfect for long-distance trips or hours spent idling in California traffic. The driver gets a power seat adjuster with manual rake.

Quality/Reliability:
Passat – 7/10 – Volkswagens have a reputation for electrical and mechanical issues which is perhaps why VW USA has priced most Passats with the durable-but-dull 170hp 2.5L I5 and the diesel to appeal to mainstream value-minded buyers while the more interesting (and problematic) V6 start at $30k. This new crop of less complicated, American-minded Volkswagens may finally improve VW’s reliability scores. Otherwise, build quality is quite good.
Fusion – 7/10 – In the pre-Ecoboost era of Ford, the Duratec lineup of engines proved to be dependable and efficient, though not particularly noteworthy otherwise. 6F35 6-speed transmission issues on 2010-2012 Fusions take a reliability rating that would have been a 9 down to a 6.5. Find a 3.5L Fusion instead, mated to an Aisin automatic.
Malibu – 8/10 – The Ecotec 2.4 is well-reputed and proven. Unfortunately, from 2004-2008 (possibly 2009) the HF 3.6L VVT V6 had issues with timing chains. A new part was issued in 2010 to remedy the problem under warranty. See details. Build quality is high with narrow and consistent panel gaps, perfectly fitted bumpers, consistently applied paint on metals and plastics, high-quality trim pieces, and doors that close with a reassuringly muted “thoomp.” The interior could use a couple refinements but the execution is elegant. I experienced one defect — the remote start did not work every time.
All three cars are imperfect but well made.

Overall:
Passat – 49/80 – If you insist on a European badge and don’t mind driving a bowl of thick syrup, this could be a worthy alternative to a Chevy Impala.
Fusion – 63.5/80 – Polarizing front styling, polarizing interior, always fun to drive.
Malibu – 64/80 – The car Goldilocks would choose. Reasonably talented, likely to be bargain-priced, and easy on the eyes.

Wildcards:
2011+ Kia Optima - Many prefer its driver-focused interior, high-tech features, sleek styling, powerful GDI turbo-4, big back seat, and bargain price. It is a very compelling choice among family sedans. Read the full review here.

2008+ and 2013 Honda Accord – The 2013 Accord offers a nice interior, an optional manual transmission, a silky V6, and the option of a two-door coupe. The 2008+ Accord, despite its dumpy styling, was competent if not eye-catching.

Growing up in Illinois in the 1980s, a new car was practically a necessity. Regardless of how well you maintained your vehicle with fresh fluids and parts, it was never enough to fight the effects of corrosion.

My mom recalled a story about our late-1970s Datsun B210 — Dad drove over a deep puddle which sent a geyser of filthy brown street water gushing into the passenger’s lap. The floors had almost entirely disappeared from rust.

My dad also owned a 1978 Honda Accord CVCC adorned in faded orange paint and gray primer. We got an earful as kids every time we jumped in. Dad was concerned that if we sat down too energetically, the seats might fall through the floor. In retrospect, his concerns were probably valid.

It quickly became commonplace knowledge that Japanese cars, at least before the use of electrogalvanized steel, had the body integrity of papier-måché. In my neck of the woods, Japan’s well-reputed fuel economy and dependability were meaningless if the vehicles themselves were physically junked after 3-5 years.

None of this, of course, applies to dry and sunny Southern California, an appropriate setting for the 2012 Japanese Classic Car Show, America’s best and largest display of fully functional, vintage Japanese cars. It was quite a treat as most of the vehicles on display had long ago disappeared from middle and northeastern American roads.

If a pristine Datsun 240Z is like a unicorn in its rarity, then JCCS is an entire stable of single-horned ponies.

The show takes place on the grounds of The Queen Mary, itself a piece of transportation history, now in use as a permanently docked hotel and museum. Predictably sunny skies promised a large turnout, but 100F temperatures and the lack of a coastal breeze discouraged me from hanging around for long. Fortunately, the show was small enough to take in every car in sufficient detail.

Noteworthy:

This 1982 family-owned Toyota pickup was converted into a camper with a fully carpeted bed, overhead skylight/vent, and insulated cabin pass-through:

The current owner bought it from his dad so it could be shared with the public.

Several Toyota 2000GTs were on display from Toyota as well as private owners. This is often referred to as Japan’s Jaguar E-type:

Greg and Becky from NICOClub brought a few members of their growing fleet of classic Datsuns.
This is a 63,000 mile unrestored 1963 Datsun Bluebird:

And this is Alice, the red Datsun 411 stationwagon I drove last year:

You can see photos, a video, and my comments here:
http://jesda.com/2012/03/15/driven-1967-datsun-411-sss-wagon/

This rare Honda CRX convertible was factory-sanctioned and warrantied, converted by an aftermarket coachbuilder:

I seriously considered taking this 1971 Honda N600 home for $4500, but it seems cruel to take a pristine piece of history and park it outside:

I need a garage.

The largest quantity of Datsuns roadsters I’ve ever seen in one place:

This is Mr K’s personal Datsun 240Z:

Yutaka Katayama is a former Nissan executive, now 103 years old, who played significant a role in the export of the legendary Datsun 510 and the design of the Datsun 240Z. In the late 1990s, “Mr K” was played by Dale Ishimoto in Nissan’s advertising, shown holding a Jack Russell terrier while declaring “Dogs love trucks!”

Katayama, considered the living embodiment of Nissan’s heritage, had a mantra: Love people. Love cars. Love life.
He continues to attend car shows and promote the Nissan brand. Below is an advertisement from 1996 emphasizing Nissan’s brand philosophy and colorful heritage:

Fast Tube by Casper

“Any car can get you where you need to go. A special car gets you there with a smile on your face. Remember, young man: Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride.”
Brilliant.

And here are the rest:

[Show as slideshow]

I didn’t stay for long due to the heat but I did have enough time to look at the most interesting cars in detail and relive lost pieces of my childhood. I fully intend to become a regular attendee.

More pictures:
http://forums.nicoclub.com/jccs-2012-it-s-not-too-early-to-make-plans-t555250.html

Show details:
http://www.japaneseclassiccarshow.com/

Treasury-appointed CEO Dan Akerson accelerated the release of the 2013 Malibu even though the mainstream 2.5L 4-cylinder powertrain wasn’t yet ready for market. As a result, the mild-hybrid ‘Eco’ model was rushed into production, utilizing a small battery that offers marginal gains in fuel economy at a cost that’s higher than it’s standard gasoline 4-cylinder competitors.

The 8th-gen sedan improves over its predecessor with reduced wind and tire noise, better fuel economy, improved chassis rigidity, reduced aerodynamic drag, and a noticeably upgraded interior.

Unfortunately, Chevrolet’s efforts may have been overshadowed by hungry and aggressive competitors from Asia. The Nissan Altima, Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, and Kia Optima have all grown in size while including additional luxury and standard technology, benchmarking each other while the Malibu lingers a quarter-step behind.

The new 4-cylinder Nissan Altima, for example, undercuts the mild-hybrid 2013 Malibu Eco by $4000 yet offers slightly better fuel economy, more trunk space (Malibu Eco’s battery consumes two cubic feet of cargo room), more interior space, and less weight.

So, while the new Malibu may be an improvement over its award-winning predecessor, the competition appears to have taken the segment a step further, enough to earn the new Malibu Eco the unfortunate title of “Most Disliked Car of 2012.”

Adding insult to injury, the outgoing 2012 model is available for $6000 less than the 2013 Malibu Eco thanks to generous factory and dealer incentives. Until inventories of 7th-gen models are depleted, sales of 2013 Malibus are expected to remain low.

The general consensus among the motoring press is that while the new Malibu is a thoroughly competent, nicely refined family car, its launch was botched by managerial impatience.

It is because of this debacle that we bid a sad farewell to the old Malibu.

I drove to Long Beach with my brother and a friend to attend the 2012 Japanese Classic Car Show. Unfortunately, we had diverging plans for the weekend so he took his Honda CRV to hang out in North Hollywood while I booked a rental and stayed in Orange County.

I booked a full size car on Priceline and headed to the airport. With my laptop in hand (no printer was available at the hotel) I approached the Hertz counter with my reservation number to pick up a full size car. Instead of a sprawling Grand Marquis, Avalon, or Taurus I was offered a Chevy Malibu, not exactly what comes to mind when I think of “full size.”

Curious about how the Malibu has endured after four years of production and eager to compare it to the 2008 Saturn Aura 3.6 I put 10,000 miles on four years ago, I caved in to Hertz’s stingy interpretation of “full size” and accepted the keys to my midsize-plus Chevrolet.

With a 169-horsepower 2.4-liter engine, 6-speed automatic transmission, leather-wrapped steering wheel, power heated driver’s seat, remote start, satellite radio, “ultralux” faux-suede/leatherette upholstery, 110-volt power outlet, Bluetooth, and 18” chrome wheels, a 2012 Malibu LT equipped this way would likely retail for just over $26,000 before rebates and incentives.

Except for a sunroof and a 252-hp V6, there isn’t much else to add, and for $32/day with unlimited mileage including tax I seemed to have done well.

In profile, the Malibu looks unusually expensive, adopting a formal C-pillar and rear glass design typically found on large Audis. The look of luxury is further enhanced by a straight, clean beltline that extends into a flat rear decklid. There’s a pleasing absence of the silly swoops and dips that were visible on the discontinued Pontiac G6, one of the Malibu’s Epsilon-platform siblings. The upscale rear-quarter appearance is spoiled only by bland and lifeless tail lights that appear to be an afterthought.

In front, the Malibu is slightly less distinctive with teardrop-shaped headlights that could have been plucked from any Japanese car. The protruding nose and chrome-accented fog light housings add a bit of class and distinction, however, and Chevrolet thankfully ditched the garish chrome bar that adorned the 6th-gen Malibu in favor of a painted segment between the upper and lower grille.

Inside, Chevy designers mended a flaw that was present on the Saturn Aura (also an Epsilon-based car) by properly matching the lines on the dashboard to the door panels. A tasteful strip of simulated wood sweeps across the doors, over the cowls, and down through the center stack, creating a sense of space and dimension.

The fake wood is complemented by silver plastic trim on the center stack and grained black surfaces on the doors and dashboard.

Chevrolet’s “ultralux” seating combines vinyl bolsters (they call it leatherette) with simulated suede inserts to create an expensive look at a low cost. The faux-suede inserts are also a clever workaround for problems typical with vinyl where hot seats can scorch the skin and cause excess perspiration.

Ian and I drove to LAX after dinner to pick up my friend Torry. Gliding around I-405’s sweeping on-ramps, the Malibu’s all-season Hankook Optimos felt firm and planted thanks to stiff sidewalls and tenacious grip. Body roll was plentiful but predictable, far from queasy and more than manageable, a welcome compromise in suspension tuning that allowed for an impressively smooth, sturdy, and upscale ride that mimicked a Mercedes E-class.

I got a chance to sample the Malibu’s pleasing interior lighting and aside from my blurry photography, all gauges and controls were clearly marked. As an added bonus, two lights in the overhead console gently illuminated the shifter and cupholder, making it easy to find coins or other objects without having to turn on the map lights.

Ambience lighting is typically found in luxury cars, especially BMWs. Not surprisingly, GM’s Vice Chair of Product Development, Bob Lutz, worked for BMW decades ago and likely borrowed the idea for the Malibu. Some suspect that the “LTZ” trim level applied to top-level Chevrolets was even named after Lutz himself.

[From Chad: "LTZ was first used by Chevrolet in 1992 for the "sporty" Caprice. The LTZ had the 350 as standard (back when the 305 was normally standard), a firmer suspension, blacked out grille, alloy wheels and the analog gauge cluster (with a digital speedo...go figure). When the Impala SS hit the market in '94, the LTZ Caprice was history."]

Even the perfect shape of the sporty steering wheel is borrowed from BMW’s E46 3-series.

After navigating the nightmare of congestion at LAX, we finally found Torry waiting in front of Delta arrivals and returned to the hotel in Long Beach. Ian dropped us off while Torry and I walked next door to check out the hotel bar.

Unfortunately, a mess of aged hippies in tie-dyed shirts were reliving Woodstock. We ditched that scene and walked next door to The Gaslamp where “Knyght Ryder” performed stellar tributes to Don Henley, Journey, Huey Lewis, Michael Jackson, Bill Idol, U2, Modern English, Kenny Loggins, and The Police.

Since Ian was sober (he always is), we walked back to the hotel, dragged him out of the room, and harassed him into driving us to some bars on Second Street.

Ian’s driving impressions were quite positive, noting the direct and perfectly weighted steering, supple suspension, and shockingly secure handling. I made sure to interrupt his talk radio station on XM by tuning to “20 on 20” and blasting Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” because that’s what obnoxious drunks are supposed to do.

Around 2am, after we failed to get into any bars (or get any phone numbers) as last call neared, we had Ian take us back to the hotel. My vision by that point was as clear and crisp as the picture above.

The following morning, I woke up and drove Torry to the Japanese Classic Car Show where he was helping out with the NICO Club booth. I wiped the sleep from my eyes, threw on a t-shirt, and headed down the stairs.

A narrow tray in the back of the upper storage compartment was designed to hold pens and pencils but it happened to be perfect for propping up my phone and shading the display from sunlight. The bottom is rubberized to prevent rattling and also kept my phone from sliding back and forth.

I plugged it into the USB port on the dash and set my GPS app for the Queen Mary where JCCS was setting up.

There’s the Queen Mary, currently a hotel and museum.

Only in California can so many classic cars be found in like-new condition, driven routinely in regular traffic. We spotted this Beetle near downtown Long Beach. Note how close the driver and passenger are.

Southern California’s coast is an abrupt mix of industry and natural beauty, where oil platforms and beaches occupy the same line of sight.

General Motors once owned Frigidaire and like most GM vehicles, the Malibu’s easy-to-use air conditioning was cold enough to turn the cabin into a rolling meat locker.

The factory sound system exceeded expectations with deep bass and strong highs. Mids were a little muddy but part of the blame can be placed on XM satellite radio’s heavily compressed audio. Compared to the 2008 Saturn Aura, the Malibu offers noticeably improved clarity and a much wider soundstage.

In addition to selectable presets, the digital EQ allows for separate adjustment of bass, treble, and mid range.

With my eyes on the road, I occasionally pressed the Menu button instead of the first radio preset button by mistake, otherwise the CD, AM, FM, USB, Bluetooth, and XM functions were straightforward and logical. A large, central volume knob (with additional steering-mounted controls) is a welcome feature, especially as manufacturers foolishly attempt to replace reliable rotary controls with finicky capacitive-touch buttons and sliders.

Like the Pontiac G6 and Saturn Aura, the Malibu places its gauges inside motorcycle-style pods. While this was interesting to look at a decade ago, it hasn’t worn well with time. Otherwise, the needles and numbers are large, well-lit, and easy to read. The pixelated information display can be changed with steering wheel-mounted buttons to show fuel economy, oil life, outdoor temperature, trip data, and tire pressure.

After dropping Torry off, I returned to the hotel and enjoyed two additional hours of sleep. I woke up again, showered, and drove back to JCCS in the afternoon with Ian.

(Car show pictures here.)

Porsche sighting!

After the show, Ian, my brother, I threw our beach gear in the Malibu and headed down the Pacific Coast Highway. In Texas and Florida, the beaches are free or near-free with little or no congestion. In California, beach entrances were packed with queues that were at least 20 cars deep.

We were forced to drive an additional 20 minutes south to Huntington Beach where we paid $15 to park the Malibu.

There was a staggering number of people enjoying the sand and surf on a Sunday afternoon. The problem with the “California Dream” is that everyone wants it and, subsequently, California is now full.

Unlike the warm, soothing water I enjoyed in The Gulf of Mexico a couple weeks earlier during a trip to Texas, the Pacific Ocean in Southern California was brutally cold with powerful waves that repeatedly slapped me in the face with frigid salt water. It was far less pleasant for swimming though perhaps ideal for surfing. It certainly wasn’t my cup of tea.

After an hour or so of dabbling around, the three of us took the Malibu back to the hotel to meet up with the NICO Club crew for dinner.

The food at The Gaslamp was thoroughly mediocre, salvaged only by strong drinks and prompt service.

My overcooked salmon was thankfully complemented by perfectly cooked bok choy and fragrant white rice.

Eager to forget about our below-average meal, I sent a text message to my friend Dustin, a Subaru WRX-driving chef who I met during a Northern California road trip last year. After doing a one-year stint cooking in The Hamptons, he recently returned to California to run the kitchen at Houston’s, an upscale-casual dining establishment.

The Malibu wasn’t due back at Hertz for several hours so we left my brother’s Honda at the hotel, threw my luggage into the Malibu’s spacious 15.1 cubic foot trunk, and headed south to Irvine for a late lunch.

The Malibu’s cargo space is further enhanced by the use of outside-mounted gas-charged struts instead of large metal articulating arms, a clever touch typically reserved for more expensive cars.

This makes it possible to use the full capacity of the trunk without worrying about whether the trunk lid has room to close. Neither the Toyota Camry or Honda Accord offered this clever feature.

Walking into Houston’s, the atmosphere reminded me of J Alexander’s or Red Rock Canyon Grill, casual but pleasingly upscale with a focus on quality ingredients and a wide selection of wines. The food at Houston’s, however, was significantly higher in quality.

I ordered a California Roll as an appetizer. Normally, I shy away from sushi — the ingredients have to be exceptionally fresh and perfectly balanced, otherwise it tends to be bland and lifeless.

Pleasingly, what came to our table was moist, delicate, eye-catching, and fragrant.

I sent Dustin a text message to let him know we arrived and he walked over to the dining room to greet us.

Professional chefs lead interesting lives. After working in the San Francisco area, Dustin was transferred to The Hamptons where he spent a year cooking for the well-heeled in one of America’s wealthiest communities. His housing and food costs were paid for while he worked long but satisfying hours.

I asked him about the roast chicken but he suggested trying the ribs and steaks. You don’t travel 1,800 miles across the country to eat a salad, so my brother and I each ordered a rare Hawaiian ribeye and Ian ordered a medium-rare filet.

What arrived was a stunning piece of perfectly cooked, sweetly marinated beef with a side of sauteed Peruvian corn. The corn was seasoned with curry, tumeric, and other spices that elevated a typically plain and lifeless vegetable to something lively and vivid.

The Hawaiian ribeye, I learned, is one of Houston’s most-favored dishes. Several have attempted to duplicate the sweet marinade including this food blogger. Of course, recreating the recipe at home doesn’t come with the excellent service, pleasing atmosphere, and attention to detail of a professional cook.

Despite being stuffed to the brim, I went ahead and ordered a dessert. Dustin came to check on us and suggested the sundae.

That’s enough sugar to feed a village… for a month! The gravy boat on the right contains real hot fudge which I poured directly on to the Double Rainbow vanilla ice cream, which happens to be my favorite brand. I was deeply disappointed when my local Trader Joe’s in St Louis stopped carrying it years ago.

I can say with confidence that this was the best steak I’ve had since dining at Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa, Florida.

Additionally, we owe a huge thanks to Dustin Pankow for an outstanding lunch.

It was getting close to 2pm and although the Malibu wasn’t due back until 7 that evening, we wanted to head to Simi Valley in time for the Reagan Museum which closed at 5. We headed back to Long Beach to top off the car and pick up my brother’s Honda which was still parked at the hotel.

Nice Thunderbird!

A full tank cost a little over $62 at $4.25 per gallon. Back in Missouri, gas was “only” $3.70 for regular unleaded.

With mostly assertive city driving, the 20.4 MPG average was quite commendable, especially because I neglected to reset the counter at the beginning of our weekend. The EPA gives the 4-cylinder 6-speed Malibu a rating of 22 city, 33 highway.

Before handing the keys back to Hertz, I took a few additional photos of the interior to highlight a couple of the Malibu’s minor flaws.

Though back seat leg room is quite generous, the openings for the rear doors are too low. As a result, tall people are likely to bump their heads when getting in and out.

Rear air vents mounted on the back of the center console would have been nice to have in such a long cabin, although the 115-volt power outlet is a nice touch. With the Malibu’s popularity among government, service, and sales fleets, the power connector is wonderfully handy for laptop and cell phone chargers.

Additionally, the materials on the dash and door panel have differing textures. The upper door is adorned in a softer material while the lower doors feel a bit cheap and hard. In pictures they look the same but after a few hours of driving these imperfections become more apparent.

Perhaps the worst offender is the map pocket on each door. You can see and feel the sharp plastic casting flash leftover from the plastic mould. Additionally, the hard plastic on the arm rest is prone to scratches. This kind of cost-cutting slightly spoils an otherwise ideal family vehicle.

Rarely do I develop a fondness for the cars that I rent — two noteworthy examples include a solidly built 2007 Cadillac DTS I drove to Tennessee and a sprightly 2007 Mazda 6 sedan I rented in Tampa. Rental fleets tend to offer cars that we auto enthusiasts would never buy, rolling appliances that drive like cold porridge, but the Malibu is a refreshing exception.

I will miss its quiet comfort, secure handling, smooth ride, generous offering of standard features, and understated elegance. This was quite an achievement for Chevrolet.

Grudgingly, I gave the keys back to Hertz.

RATINGS:

Powertrain: 8.5/10 — The 6T40 6-speed automatic transmission makes the best of GM’s 169-hp 2.4L Ecotec engine. Unlike its sibling, the Saturn Aura, the Malibu is often in the right gear, rarely hunting or searching. Shifts are pleasingly smooth but perceptible enough to offer a bit of feedback.
The 2.4L Ecotec isn’t particularly pleasing to the ear, especially compared to GM’s racy 3.6L VVT V6, but the firewall is so well-insulated that the 4-banger’s angry cries are muted.
Full application of the accelerator is unnecessary for swift take-offs thanks to excellent gearing. I only found myself flooring the throttle when passing on the highway or maneuvering into gaps in traffic. The only disappointment is in weak mid-throttle acceleration, like when approaching a traffic circle at 25mph then flooring it to speed up to 40.
With the 6-speed, the Ecotec 2.4 is perfectly usable and frequently satisfying, but the V6 would add some missing entertainment.

Braking: 9/10 — The Malibu’s pedal modulation is firm and progressive, almost BMW-like in its immediate response and short stopping distances. It’s quite a contrast from the Toyota Camry which suffers from a bit of mushiness.

Ride: 9/10 — The body structure is rock solid, gliding over bumps and imperfections in a quietly sturdy way that draws comparisons to midsize German luxury cars. Malibu’s ride and handling compromise is ideal.

Steering/Handling: 9/10 – Body motions are well-controlled while zipping left and right through traffic. Body roll around sweeping curves is noticeable but entirely manageable, never bouncing, floating, or exhibiting any loss of control. Credit goes to all-season Hankook Optimos for exceptional grip, stiff sidewalls, and a luxurious ride on California’s badly neglected freeways.
Steering is lively and direct with a sporty BMW-like 3-spoke wheel that’s nice to hold in the hand. Steering effort builds up nicely while cornering.
A little bit of additional road surface feedback would be nice, but the Malibu is better than the norm for this segment. Mazda still sets the standard for steering.

Audio/Accessories: 9/10 — The standard GM sound system is surprisingly powerful and bright. Logical controls and a clear radio display make XM, bluetooth, and USB functions a breeze.
Climate controls are a standard three-knob setup with two buttons for recirculation settings.
Every button, knob, and switch feels fluid and luxurious, adorned in tasteful bits of plastichrome.
Audio, phone, and information buttons on the steering wheel are a bit too small to see and press easily.
Bonus: A 115-volt outlet mounted on the back of the front arm rest makes laptop charging easy.

Interior: 7.5/10 — The dual-cowl setup creates a sense of space while sweeping segments of faux wood from ear to ear break up the monotony of grained black surfaces. Chevy took too many shortcuts in the materials chose for the lower door panels, unfortunately.
The back seat can feel dark and isolating, a problem exacerbated by high door sills and an encroaching roof that makes ingress and egress a challenge for tall people. Fortunately, once seated, rear passengers enjoy outstanding leg room. The lack of a rear arm rest is a bit unusual.
It can also be a bit difficult to see stop lights if you’re sitting at the front of an intersection due to the windshield’s low sight lines.
Overall, the inside of a Malibu is a nice place to be.

Comfort: 9/10 – Front seats are well-bolstered with excellent thigh support. Adjustable lumbar on lower trim levels would be nice, but the default configuration is perfect for long-distance trips or hours spent idling in California traffic. The driver gets a power seat adjuster with manual rake. We never sampled the heated seats because it was 100 degrees outside.

Quality/Reliability: 8/10 — The Ecotec 2.4 is well-reputed and proven. Unfortunately, from 2004-2008 (possibly 2009) the HF 3.6L VVT V6 had issues with timing chains. A new part was issued to remedy the problem. See details.
Exterior build quality is exceptionally high with narrow and consistent panel gaps, perfectly fitted bumpers, consistently applied paint on metals and plastics, high-quality trim pieces, and doors that close with a reassuringly muted “thoomp.”
The interior, as mentioned above, could use a couple refinements but the execution is classy and elegant.
I experienced one defect — the remote start did not work every time.

Overall Value: 9/10 — Compared to the Camry and Accord, the 2008-2012 Malibu is a very strong contender. It’s biggest competition is from the more powerful and head-turning 2011+ Kia Optima Turbo.

VERDICT:
This isn’t just a great Chevrolet. It’s a great car, period. If you’re in the market for a new family sedan, take advantage of GM’s incentives and buy one now.

RESOURCES:
Malibu Forum

SPECIFICATIONS:
2.4L Ecotec I-4
169 hp @ 6400 rpm
160 ft-lbs. @ 4500 rpm
6-speed automatic transmission
Front wheel drive
Curb weight: 3421 lbs
Length: 191.8 in.
Wheel base: 112.3 in.
Independent front struts and coil springs
Independent rear multi-link configuration with coil springs
Front and rear stabilizer bars
EPA fuel economy: 22/33 mpg

Related: Saturn Aura, Pontiac G6, Saab 9-3, Opel Vectra